Valentines Dating

Dear Agony Aunt Nicola

Valentines is fast approaching and as usual I have no partner to enjoy it. The thing is there is someone I have my eye on but I find it hard to make the most move, shouldn’t it be the guy who does? He is a friend and at times I do think he likes me more than a friend but it’s hard to always gauge. I don’t want to be on my own for another Valentines just to have a card would be nice! How can I let him know I’m the one for him? from lovestruck Sophie

Hi Sophie

We’re in a modern day world now and there’s nothing wrong with women making the first move when it comes to romance. It’s bound to be awkward for you as it would be for a man too but sometimes you have to bite the bullet and just go for it. If you feel he could possibly be interested in you romantically then it’s worth finding out if there is a mutual affection. Pluck up the courage and at least you may not have to spend Valentines alone again.

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The Body Languages Clues

What do you think when you see a couple of people sitting in front of each other and making small talk? You might think they are trying to get to know each other better but the fact of a matter is that they don’t have a clue of what’s going on and how to behave. They will most probably be on a 1st date and both of them probably wished they knew how the date was going. It would be rude to ask someone how a date is going point blank and what’s worse is that it will sound pathetic as well. So, how can you determine how a date’s going? You learn to read a person’s body language of course.

The Initiation

First of all, see if the other person is making eye contact with you. If yes, you need to determine whether it is inviting or creepy. We have heard the saying, “The eyes are the windows to the soul,” and that can’t be more true in such situations. See where your partner’s concentration is. Is he/she concentrating more on their food or more on you? This is a major indication of whether the date is going well or not.

Hints and Tips

Now let’s take a look at some complex body language hints.

Have the two of you made any physical contact yet? Or has every hint of contact led to both of you jerking away from each other with horror? Does the other person lean in when talking to you? A person’s body tends to react to the way a person is feeling whether they like it or not. And if there is a lot of touching, you can rest assured the date is going well.

There are also quite a few visual indicators which will be involuntary but can tell a lot about how a person feels. For example, if your date is sitting with his or her arms open, it means that they are open & feel attracted to you. On the other hand, crossed arms mean just the opposite. Is your date constantly staring at your lips or maybe touching their own? This is a clear cut sign that they want to kiss you or want you to kiss them. There are many other indicators that a woman wants to kiss you including trying to brush off a crumb from your face, closing their eyes with a dreamy look, inclining their head ever so slightly, etc. If you notice any of these signals, it means you are doing extremely well and your date definitely wants to kiss you.

If you have just this basic knowledge on what to look out for in another person’s body language, you will be far ahead of the competition in the dating game. You will definitely have your partner eating out of your hands in no time. Alternatively, you will be able to tell when a date isn’t going to well and cut it short. The advantages of reading body language are infinite. So what are you waiting for?

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New Year Resolution to go dating

Dear Agony Aunt Nicola

I’ve been single for a while now and decided that this New Year I need to make the change and go dating. The fact that I don’t socialise and find myself stuck at work more often than anything so I never meet new people. I am a quiet person at first meeting but once I get to know someone I come out of my shell. As I don’t have any experience with dating what’s the best way to find a date?

Hi Philip

There are many people like yourself who take the new year as an opportunity to take stock of their lives and evaluate things missing from them such as finding a new partner and generally enhancing their love life. If you haven’t had much experience in dating then may I suggest online dating or attending singles events such as speed dating. It’s a great way to get you back into the dating scene which also gives you confidence when meeting new people. There are many organisations online that offer a variety of services to suit everyone it’s a case of finding a company that suits you. Give it a try and make 2016 the year to boost your love life and friendship circles.

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Dating Dilemma at Christmas

Dear Agony Aunt Nicola

I’ve started dating a guy for the last few months and he’s already talking about me introducing him to my family which I feel is too early. I haven’t told him and struggling to find a way without offending him. I do like him a lot but I don’t want to feel pressured especially as things are going so well between us at the moment. I am very close to my family so I want to spend time with them on my own therefore I won’t be as available as my date would like me to be. How can I tell him I don’t want him meeting my family and we’ll be spending less time together over Christmas? Zoe

Hi Zoe

It is an awkward situation to be in, without knowing your date it’s hard to tell how he will react. Communication is the best way forward so by telling him in advance that you won’t be available all the time he can then make plans for himself and no doubt plan his time seeing his own family over Christmas. The festive season is very busy for most families so he should be understanding, before you tell him you’ll be staying away for a bit perhaps arrange some fun outing days during December so you still get some quality one to one time together. He in fact may be relaxed about your wishes so you may be worrying for nothing. Christmas is a time to be happy spending time with your loved ones including your date and next Christmas could be more exciting.

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Do dating apps increase the number of STDs?


Too much Tinder can lead to STDs

Dating apps seem to be causing controversy and are becoming a real concern as an increasing number of people are developing STDs having met people via these apps.

Apps such as Tinder, Zoosk and Happn to name just a few are a genuine concern according to sexual health experts. A leading British health expert doctor states that apps should “invest more time in pushing a safe sex message” and he adds that the country is at its highest point for HIV ever.

The British Association for Sexual Health and HIV wants to raise awareness to push the message of having sex safe is a paramount. Dr Peter Greenhouse of the association has told the BBC “You are able to turn over partners more quickly with a dating app and the quicker you change partners the more likely you are to get infections.”

Dating apps Tinder and Happn are claiming around 50 million active members using their apps. Tinder enables its members to view profile photos which promotes easy matches. It’s quick and easy for people to easily connect via a swipe system on their phones to “like” one another.

Broadly speaking, Tinder has some to be known as a hook up app, and not a place for people interested in serious relationships. People need to understand that if they do use apps for this purpose, they should take precautions to avoid disease, and a leading health doctor has stated that because of their popularity it could very well lead to an “explosion” of STDs.

Dr Greenhouse said “If enough people change partners quickly, and they’ve got other untreated sexually transmitted infections, it might just start an explosion of HIV in the heterosexual population. Apps could do that.”

There has been a 33% rise in syphilis and 19% in gonorrhoea in the past twelve months, with sexual health centres continuing to care for many more patients each month.

Without doubt if you use dating apps then you need protect yourself when having sex. Alternatively, if you prefer to let a relationship devleop naturally, you should check out normal dating sites such as the Singles 247 online dating site.


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Winter Blues affect me dating

Dear Agony Aunt Nicola

I have been single for a fair amount of time now but what I have recognised is that over the winter months dating has become very difficult. I am fine having conversations via text or online as it’s good to be able to talk to different guys but when it comes to meeting I just can’t do it. I find myself very low call it winter blues but I don’t seem to have the energy to even meet for a coffee or in fact want to! It’s a shame as i’m talking to really nice guys one in particular and I know at some point he’s going to give up pursuing me as I keep putting off meeting him or making excuses. What should I do? Louise

Hi Louise

From what you have mentioned you have a form of weather disorder know as SAD which is a seasonal affective disorder. This can have an effect on peoples behaviour during the winter months where they become low and lethargic. It may be worth going to your doctor to find out the cause where they will give you a diagnosis from your symptoms. Until you have been to the doctor I wouldn’t push yourself to go dating as the last thing you want is to feel negative which your dates will pick up on. Upon first meeting of a new date because they don’t know you or what you’re going through it’s more than likely they will pick up on body language and if you are withdrawn they will not think you are interested. Get back to the real you in mind and body!

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Age Gap Dating

Dear Agony Aunt Nicola

I am a 25yr old guy who prefers older women and a lot of my friends think it’s crazy that I prefer to date women near enough double my age. I do think girls my age are too immature and increasingly annoying, it’s easier to have a conversation with a sexy older woman. Longterm wise I know it’s not the best situation to be in a relationship with someone who’s at a different stage in their life where they’ve had kids etc. I do want kids but majority of time the ladies I date don’t want to so then we end our relationship which is really painful. Please help? Adam

Hi Adam

The first thing you need to do is not worry about what people may think. It’s your life and you live it how you want, if you prefer the older woman there’s nothing wrong with that. As the old saying goes age is just a number, we can’t help who we are attracted to or fall in love with. Society is changing where women are putting their careers first before having kids, therefore new mums are becoming a lot older. Think positive and find ways to meet lots of different women of all ages as you may be surprised you may find a mature girl of the same age that you click with, who knows!

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Looking for ‘The One’

Dear Agony Aunt Nicola

I have been single for some time and i have found that new relationships always end in disaster or they just weren’t exactly what I’m looking for in a long-term partner. I am hard to please, my friends call me fussy and say I should just settle down and reckon I’ve missed the boat a few times. I am concerned time is flying by and that I will never find ‘The One’ but why should I be with someone who doesn’t tick all the boxes? Melanie

Hi Melanie

There’s no rush to find a partner and especially if you don’t feel they’re 100% right for you. No one is perfect, everyone has their flaws but when it’s about finding true love you will accept it if it’s meant to be. Go with your gut instinct as this is a good way to know if a relationship is right for you to continue. As the saying goes you have to kiss a few frogs to get to your prince. Take your time and enjoy your free time meeting new people which will give you a good chance in finding ‘The One’ for a long lasting relationship.

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The Importance of Being Honest

They say honesty is the best policy. And when it comes to dating, it’s certainly one of the most important.

Online dating has changed a great deal in the last decade. What began as a form of online lonely hearts, has progressed into a sophisticated, dedicated industry. Online daters come in all shapes and sizes, and so do the websites and apps available to them. The development of the industry has allowed daters to be increasingly specific about who they want, and what they want from that person.

In 2015, you can find almost anything online. Whether you desire a threesome, a sugar daddy, a mail order bride, a one night stand or a long-term relationship. But in order to ensure you get exactly what you want, there are three key areas of dating where honesty is of the essence.

1) Be honest about who you really are.

If you’re online dating, and actually plan to meet up with people, there is no point lying about who you are – to either yourself or potential matches. No one wants the first impression they make to be one of disappointment, but that’s likely to be the case if you mislead people about who you are.

Use photos which show the real you. Don’t select super-flattering options, which you know don’t really look like you do in person. And don’t use old photos, or ones which show a different version of yourself. If you’ve lost or gained weight recently, make sure the photos you use online are up-to-date. As a rule of thumb, you should never use photos which are over six months old.

When filling out your profile, think about stuff which is really important to you. Try to represent, as best you can, the real you. The person they would meet on the date. Don’t exaggerate or lie to attract people, just be yourself. The right people will be drawn to this.

2) Be honest about why you’re online

Never lie about your intention. Even if you’re in a relationship, and using online dating to cheat, there is no need to lie about it, in this day and age. There are actual sites designed to service those needs.

Be honest with yourself about what you want from an online relationship. How serious do you want it to get? Are you just looking for a friend, or someone to chat to? Do you desire no-strings sex, or a casual arrangement? Is there are specific sexual preference you wish to explore? Or are you looking for a long-term relationship?

The more honest you can be with yourself about what you want, the easier it is to find it. By honing in on your reason for dating online, you can choose the best site to suit those needs, and identify websites where you’re likely to meet like-minded people. Then, by communicating on your profile exactly what you are looking for in a relationship, you are laying your cards on the table from the very beginning. Anyone responding to your profile will be doing so with full disclosure.

3) Be honest about your feelings

The great part of dating online, is just how many options you are provided with. And you won’t like everyone. Be kind. Don’t lead others on unnecessarily. If you’re not interested in someone who approaches you online, it’s perfectly acceptable to ignore advances. Passive rejection is an accepted part of online dating.

If you go on a date or two with someone, and don’t feel any chemistry, but they don’t feel the same way, let them down gently. Never try to disguise rejection with extreme kindness – it will always be mis-read. If you’re not interested, get out of the relationship as quickly as possible.

Meet Genuine Singles at Singles 247 Dating site.

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Dating with Disabilities

Dear Agony Aunt Nicola

I’ve never been in a relationship and I think this is due to my impaired eyesight. How can I go on a date if I walk into walls?! I would like to think i’m very sociable and have confidence when it comes to public speaking but where dating is concerned I feel i’ve failed before it’s even started. My confidence is taking a knock with the thought of going through the process of physically getting to my date without making a fool of myself. Any advice would be much appreciated, thanks John.

Hi John

Dating can be much harder for those who have physical or psychological disabilities. There are plenty of disabled people who go dating and you shouldn’t be any different. Without knowing the extent of your visual impairment it’s best to plan your journey, maybe have someone on hand to help such as a friend or relative someone who you can trust that will be there for support. Once you have a meeting point arranged with your date it’s best to check the place out beforehand this will ensure your smooth arrival. Preparation is key for you, this will then give you the confidence to turn up for a date. It’s also best to let your date know of your concerns but do it in a light hearted way with some humour to keep it positive. Please keep in mind though that people who are worth dating are the ones who don’t judge you or make you feel uncomfortable.

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