Excessive Jealousy in a Relationship

 

 

Excessive Jealousy

Excessive Jealousy

 

In the initial stages of many relationships, some people may find jealousy a cute quirk of their partner.  Jealousy may indicate that your boyfriend or girlfriend has intense feelings for you.  This can be misconstrued as a confirmation of love and devotion. This feeling is as innate as any other.  Let us not forget that even children develop jealousy when a sibling receives more attention than they do.  To some, this is simply a feeling of sadness and helplessness. To others however, jealousy comes hand in hand with feelings of anger and the need for revenge. For this purpose, let us explore ‘excessive’ jealousy between couples.

 

Nip It in the Bud

When signs of jealousy are apparent right from the start of a relationship, this concern should be addressed immediately. Perhaps being honest about being jealous is shameful to admit, but if it exists then this may develop into a serious and relationship-threatening matter. Therefore, a person should constantly reassure their boyfriend or girlfriend about their stance when it comes to situations that involve social interaction with people of the opposite gender. As jealousy can be considered human-nature, it is difficult to control the feeling but it is very possible to control our reaction to it.

 

Understand Jealousy’s Potential

Jealousy may cause numerous problems in any relationship.  It is not a phase, and there is no set timeline.  It has the potential to spark an argument, fuel resentment, cause physical and mental harm, and eventually leads to a break-up.  In certain cases, it has even led to more serious consequences such as property damage, e.g. jealous person setting fire to their partner’s car, and house, and worst, recorded fatalities as a result of jealous partners.  This is a serious matter that may lead to unwanted circumstances and so the potential of this feeling should be thoroughly understood.

 

Can Jealousy Be Prevented?

Jealousy is a reaction to a certain sentiment.  This can be intentionally or unintentionally provoked.  Nevertheless, it can be avoided.  In the event that a person is jealous-prone they can be briefed on how best to handle such situations, so that it does not cause any harm to the relationship.  If you are a jealous person, it is important for you to remember that your partner is not an object and that their obligation in the relationship is a choice.  Occasionally, it is only when one person walks out of the relationship that the extent of harm is fully understood. It is a blessing just to be with the person you love, as well as their choosing to be with you. Thus, it is a feeling that can not only be prevented but also controlled.  Remember to think before you act out of spite, and stop before you react.

 

Jealousy can sometimes be understood by a lack of confidence in both yourself and your partner. This is already a bad sign and should not be encouraged.  Believe in your partner and trust that they deserve the benefit of the doubt. This will result in a happier and more fulfilling relationship, more if the relationship that you want to start is a long distance relationship to date girls from other countries, in example Dating Ukraine or Russian Brides for marriage, using an international agency by Internet.

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I’m dating a Toy Boy

Dear Nicola, i’m dating a guy who’s 12 years younger than me. At first it was wonderful and the age difference didn’t bother me but now a year on I fear the age thing is now causing a problem. I want to get married and settle down but he is not ready for marriage and he has told me he would like kids in the future which I don’t think is possible for me in later years for obvious reasons. Should I break up with him? Thanks Sally

Hi Sally

You need to sit down and talk with your partner and discuss your aims for the future. Talking to each other and by coming to an arrangement that you can see a future together is the key thing. I understand age is not on your side but if you want to be with your partner then sometimes it’s give and take. Ask yourself if you can see yourself being in this relationship for the long term, does he make you happy, do the pros out weigh the cons but remember no one is perfect. A tough decision is to be made but only you can make this, what will be will be and just go with the flow if you don’t have the answers yet.

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Tips To Keep Romance Alive

 

Love you on post it note

The best phase for most of the people with relationships is right at the beginning.  It’s that part when the two people meet and fall in love.  All of a sudden, all the skies are clear and blue, all the grass is greener than ever, and romance fills the air.  Everything in that time is just absolutely perfect.  After a while, the romance in most relationships fade away and it’s all about two people struggling to hold on.  It doesn’t have to be that way.  One important factor in maintaining a relationship is to keep the romance alive.  There are many ways to achieve this:

Share Household Chores
The challenge in relationships is the time when couples are already living together.  Both are exposed to each other’s bad and annoying habits.  It requires a lot of patience and tolerance.  A great way to overcome the frustrations is to be very understanding and to be a unified team.  Drive in some romance by sharing chores.  If one person is supposed to cook on Thursday evening but they are stuck at the office, the other person should be as helpful as possible and just whip up a meal.  It doesn’t have to be something elaborate.  When their partner returns home after a very exhausting day at the office, they will be pleasantly surprised that dinner is on the table and ready to be served.

Be Considerate
Many couples argue about the lack of consideration one partner has for the other.  It could be even for simple things such as one person wants to read until late, while the other one wants to go to bed.  What is seemingly a small issue too many people can start a nuclear war between two people who are trying to make a relationship work.  In a case such as this, it is vital to enforce consideration for each other.  If one person wants to go to bed early while the other wants to read, an easy way to resort this is by negotiating a compromise.  One can have their way today, and the other one will have things their way tomorrow.  It is also important to remember that although you are a couple, you are also still two individuals with different likes and dislikes.  Be considerate to your partner, and they will return the favor when you deserve it.

Maintain Affection
The most unfortunate and almost-certain fate long-term couples emerge into is that feeling of both emotional and physical neglect from each other.  It is human nature to take for granted the things that are present around us all the time.  That does not mean we do not love our partner.  It just means that we are so used to them and we expect them to be there all the time.  Remind yourself that this person who loves you chooses to be with you and that they can walk out at any time, even during a lengthy marriage.

Therefore, it is extremely important to keep them happy and feeling loved, and more if you are interested in International Dating, for example into Ukrainian Dating women.  The effort on your part should never cease.  Bring to them flowers once in a while, buy to them presents, bake them a cake or two, hug them, kiss them, write them love letters or even send them text messages at odd times of the day.  Remind them constantly that you are thinking about them, you love them and that they mean the world to you.

Ukraine Lover writes regularly on dating and relationships for young people, for a variety of magazines and blogs including Ukrainemate.net.  He does see value in online dating for connecting people.

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Long Distance Relationship Does Work

Long Distance RelationshipThe say love conquers all and that it knows no distance or boundaries. Some people are lucky to spend their time with their partner as often as they want but there are some who are not as fortunate. And although it can be quite a challenge it can be done. Like any other relationship you need to work at it, only doubly hard because the challenge is bigger.

Constant communication

Like all other relationship, communication is the key. When you are far apart it is even more important. While it is true that distance makes the heart grow fonder it also makes the heart forget, so keep the communication lines open. Find time to talk; it is so much easier now because of technology, you can talk and even see each other on video so all you need to do is find time. Make a schedule and stick to it or better yet make it as often as you can within schedule or not.

Keep the romance alive

Romance is an important part of making a relationship last, in this case work. But a long distance relationship being romantic is not restricted by distance; in fact it is easier and more natural to be romantic and thoughtful across the miles. There are so many things you can think of doing to make up for the distance and time apart. There is the convenience of emailing where you can send love notes, sweet thoughts and technology has made it easier to express yourself through emoticons you can use.

Commitment

The biggest challenge in all love relationships is commitment; staying loyal and faithful is one of the reasons so many relationships fail. This is even more difficult when the couple is far apart. But commitment is a conscious decision to stay loyal or faithful to something or someone for that matter and when you truly feel love for each other and you value each other’s love. Commitment also takes a lot of hard work and not just a promise said to one another. And this is not a one way ticket; it is an understanding of both parties.

Sincerity

This is another aspect that contributes to making your relationship work. Sincerity can be clich but for long distance relationship, when the lifeline of your bond is based on words; sincerity is very important. A lie can be compounded exponentially when you are in a long distance relationship. The trust when once broken can be so hard to restore and this is because when you are apart you hold on to each word spoken or written for that matter. The distance too makes it even harder to patch things up.

Any relationship requires not just love, but also time, commitment and tons of hard work for both parties. While it is more challenging in a long distance relationship it doesn’t mean it can’t work. Proximity is not even an assurance it will last but for as long as both parties contribute to making it work and exert efforts to show each other’s commitment, no amount of time or distance can keep the relationship from thriving.

Learn more about this topic by visiting calmclinic at dailymotion.

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My partner won’t have a joint account

My boyfriend refuses to have a joint bank account with me. It’s really upsetting as we have been together now for nearly 3 years and I want to progress our relationship for the future. We’ve had many arguments about this as I feel he doesn’t trust me or I feel he’s not being honest with me. I don’t want our relationship to be ruined over such a simple thing of sharing a bank account. What can I do to resolve this, thanks Sally

Hi Sally,

The topic of finance for some people is a touchy subject when being in a relationship. It’s one of the main causes of arguments between a couple especially if they are starting out in life together yet still getting to know one another. Some people decide to keep their financial circumstances private or point blank refuse to talk about it. If you are at a stage of building a future together ideally you need to be able to share things such as a bank account purely for household bills, if you are living together this makes life a lot easier. There are many advantages to sharing an account but as well as the pros you need to look at the cons too. Maybe try talking about the reason as to why he doesn’t want to share, look at the history of both of your financial backgrounds, does he feel a cause for concern? does he have a solid income to contribute an equal amount. There are many reasons but communication is paramount when looking to take a big step of financial bonding in a relationship.

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Are you an online dating snob?

Snobby LadyRemember the days where bars were the ultimate place to meet potential new relationships? You know, where a Friday night with the girls would always see you secretly making extra special effort with the lippy just in case the you lock eyes with that barman with the arm tattoo for a milli-second too long and – oh the excitement! The build up! The entire evening would have a ‘could this be it?’ feel to it. The evening would be full of delicious promise, of tantalising possibility..

The truth is you might find yourself so giddy on pinot and potential, that you are not really paying attention to the first opening conversation with your prospective date/fling/new relationship contender. A recent poll of my girlfriends (all of which had met and had relationships with men they had met on nights out) told me that two thirds of them could not remember that first conversation. Now, you might argue that intuition and instinct can, however gin soaked, can win out since these couples have stood the test of time (ok, at least the night). But it does beg the question, how much attention are we paying to those crucial opening lines? Are there clues we could be missing because we are distracted with the prospect in front of us, beer goggled and daydreaming with ears half open?

With online dating we might say there is a different phenomena at play altogether. Whether we like to admit it or not, we all have a partner checklist we privately tick off when we meet someone. Tall? Check? Seems to like his mum? Check. Has a meaningful job that benefits society? Check. Oh wait – nope, definitely a bit too close to mum: delete check. The only difference is that in the virtual world this list, far from being in the privacy of our own heads, is out there on the screen in front of us – in front of everyone. It’s no wonder then, that if not expertly navigated the online dating can resemble your worst job interview, or the X Factor finals. Everything is out there from how many kids you want, to the 5 year career plan, and this is even before the first date. There’s no doubt that online dating can be information overload. And the result? Well, the only reasonable human response to too much information – we filter some of it out. We in the dating world become like a pupil, narrowing in our focus to block out too much sun. Is it any wonder, then, that the most laid back of us point blank refuse to respond to emails if they contain a spelling mistake, or that collective bear bug the misappropriation of ‘your’ and ‘you’re’? Some of us even legitimate such judgemental attitudes by asserting is as ‘a principle’. It’s not our fault, we’re just trying to regain some control – get a foothold of a standard to cling onto whilst being swept sideways with too much information, too much promise, too much possibility.

Perhaps there is an opportunity here though. Perhaps we aren’t all destined to become online dating snobs, judgementally scrutinising haircuts and camera angles and weighing up the balance of self-deprecation Vs low confidence, self-awareness Vs pretentiousness. Here, in the safety of our jammies, we are in control. We are (mostly) sober. We are alert and conscious, deliberate with our words. Moreover we are listening. So call me a snob, but isn’t that a conversation worth remembering?

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Are gentlemen a dying breed?

“The times they are a-changing” or so goes the saying in the Bob Dylan classic. And never has this been truer than in the arena of sexual politics. Men and women, are as different as they have always been, find themselves struggling to relate to one another in a rampant, digital age of online information. We are surrounded by media imagery and conflicting ideas telling us who were are, and what we want.

Today, we are seeing growing numbers of campaigning organisations like Object, The Everyday Sexism Project and The Body Is Not An Apology challenge how today’s media society objectifies and culturally subjugates women, and this is making single men extremely unsure of themselves. Women are beginning to object to how they are portrayed online and by the media. One only has to look to the backlash caused by Robin Thicke’s ‘Blurred Lines’ video to see that today women are increasingly aware of how culture portrays them as passive, sexualised playthings for men.  But where does this leave men and women in the online dating community?Gentleman Can you call yourself a feminist and expect your date to pick up the dinner tab? How can you be sure that pulling out a chair for a dinner date will be received as a gentlemanly act and not an act of patriarchal oppression? How do we navigate this minefield, further complicated by the digital age?

Before the days of digital, women have been subject to limiting prescriptions of what it means to be a woman. Female identity has loosely been based on notions of ‘wife’ or ‘mother’. Whichever side of the ‘madonna/whore’ binary, it always sits in relation to a fixed and ‘neutral’ identity of man. So what this means is that being a man never gets questioned. It is a given. Men are ‘men’, unless they are in the company of women and then they are ‘gentlemen’. Perhaps this used to be good enough, but now public consciousness is shifting, and being a ‘gentleman’ is problematic as it assumes women as inherently more fragile than men. It’s infantilising. As such, men have not really until now had to think about how well-meaning first date manners could go potentially blow up in their faces.

So how can we minimise this risk? The answer is subtle, but relatively simple. It is about self-awareness. It is thinking about and taking responsibility for your own privilege. Before you offer to make a concession for your female date, ask yourself why are you are doing it. If you’re reasons are sound, be aware of creating other opportunities for her to reciprocate, knowing that often the playing field is not from the beginning, level. Often it is the motivation behind committing an act that can determine its meaning and not just the act itself, so question what your underlying assumptions are.

I know what you are thinking: surely manners are manners, right? Holding a door open or offering to pick up the bill is a nice thing to do for anyone, regardless of their gender. This is true, but I hear men all the time complain that with so called ‘third wave’ feminism they don’t know how to act around women on dates anymore. This is simply because it is distressing to have to think about your own privilege if you know that others have suffered so you can prosper. Often those in power often are unconscious to it for that reason. They have never had cause to think about what they have, because they have never lost it, so they take their position for granted.

So are women sensitive to being patronised, infantilised and sexualised? Yes. Does that mean it is good enough to wheel out the same old used airs and graces, then put it down to paranoia and let yourself off the hook? No, nt it doesn’t.

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Will I ever find someone to love?

Hi Nicola, I’m 27 years old and feel life is passing me by quickly and still not met anyone that I have fallen in love with. I have a huge social network and always meeting lots of new people but have not had any success in dating let alone finding someone to win my heart. I don’t think i’m doing anything wrong and my friends are always reassuring me that i’m a great catch for any guy. I see my friends with their partners and they look so happy and deeply in love – I would like a piece of that too, please help! Claire

Hi Claire

Love can be defined in all shapes and forms but when it comes to being in a relationship it’s about compassion and empathy and showing an act of love to eachother. Once this happens then you will know you are in love with a potential long term partner or soul-mate. Remember the chance of falling in love is four times in a lifetime so it’s not as frequent as people think. Not everyone is perfect so please don’t go looking for the perfect guy who ticks all of your boxes because there’s no such thing. Go about your normal everyday life and love yourself before you can love others with this you will find you will attract more admirers which could develop into a wonderful loving relationship. Good luck in your search!

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Scientists create the ideal woman’s face

Scientists have blended thousands of women’s faces based on 41 countries around the globe to produce the average woman’s face for each country.

Images of 41 women from different ethnicities were laid on top of each other where a unique computer imagery produced the common look. They eye shapes, skin tones, all facial features were depicted from this unique computer programme created by Psychologists from Glasgow university.

Women's faces in different countries

The face of the average woman from a variety of countries including England, China, Switzerland and Japan has been collected by scientists using a modern tool technique pioneered by that of anthropologist Sir Francis Galton in the late 19th century.

The method – called ‘composite portraiture’ has been used ever since, particularly in the study of ‘attractiveness’ – which studies people’s perception of beauty. This method caused some controversy with the results with many saying it does not reflect the reality of the ‘common’ face as they are all beautiful. Many agree that it does make sense the women are all pretty – because averages rule out imperfections – many are baffled that the women all seem to be in her early twenties which is not the average age of any nationality.

Instead of having many blurred images with undefined features, they say the method averages the shape of the features before blending the images together.

Inspiring ideas with the use of modern technology will always fascinate us but at the end of the day all women are wonderfully unique in their own right and as the saying goes beauty is in the eye of the beholder. There are many different women’s or men’s faces you can find at Singles 247 Dating site but which one will take your fancy for a date.

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Can I stop my son from seeing my ex’s girlfriend

Dear Nicola, My ex partner and I have been split up for two years now but have a three year old son. I have since found out my ex husband is now in a new relationship and has been letting our son see his girlfriend without my consent. I found out something wasn’t right when my son mentioned a woman’s name when he came back from a visit with his father so i had my suspicions which has now been confirmed by my ex. I am very angry as he should have told me beforehand, I was none the wiser as to who my son had been spending time with. Am I being unreasonable, please help. Amy, Oxford.

Hi Amy

It’s hard when a relationship comes to an end and more so when there is children involved. You are right he should have let you know about his girlfriend in advance and before allowing your son to see her without your knowing. He has his reasons for not telling you and he must make it clear from now on of exactly who your son is with or the environment he’s been put in for your own peace of mind. Make sure the issue is all about your sons well-being and safety and you put your feelings aside of his new relationship. If you are unhappy with the fathers handling of visits with your son then I suggest you seek legal advice. I wish you luck and hope you can reach an agreement in an amicable way.

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