Will he leave her for me?

Dear Nicola,

I’ve known a guy for a few years that I used to date but nothing evolved at the time so we parted but still remained friends. We have both had partners since and out of the blue we got chatting and he helped me with a favour which meant we actually got to see eachother. Since then the sparks have rekindled and the chemistry is there, the feelings are certainly mutual. He says how much he wants to be with me etc but he’s actually not said he will leave his partner. What is the best course of action to take and how do I approach telling him I want him to leave her? Jayne.

Hi Jayne

The simple matter of fact is if he wants to be with you then he certainly will leave his partner. Make sure the memories aren’t the reason to bring you together but the future is what’s important if you want to both give it a second go. Think of the reasons why it didn’t work before, what’s changed and is this new relationship for the longterm or a lustful fantasy of what could have been. If you discuss your feelings without putting pressure on him this will give you a clear indication of where you stand.

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What’s the “Grammatter” with Bad Spelling?

“Hay gurl wuts up your beautiful”
Virtually every female on an online dating site has seen it in her inbox over and over. “GGs”—“Greeting Grunts.” The Neanderthal equivalent of a pick-up line.
I might be considered a “grammar Nazi” just because my kneejerk response to “your beautiful” is “my beautiful what?” (Honk twice if you get it.)
But the majority of women agree.
Even more intriguing to me, however, was the male perspective.
I had a hypothesis that men would be more forgiving.
What I found implies quite the opposite.
Every man I spoke with on Tinder told me proper grammar (not to be confused with touch-screen typos, but often associated with “txt spk”) is, in fact, important to them.
They ranged from 18 to 65, represented all races and levels of education/income, and all but one rated grammar as at least 4 on a scale of 5.

Some typical responses:
I rank grammar at a 4 …because it’s important to me…
I hate when somebody sounds completely illiterate over a message. It’s one of my biggest pet peeves.
For me personally…grammar matters….If we’ve been talking for awhile, I’m more forgiving…But opening salvo? Nope.
Proper grammar was associated with education and intelligence:
If the girl uses bad grammar I usually don’t talk to her. It’s important for me that the girl knows how to use grammar and is well educated. Education is important.
Grammar is important in that there is usual a correlation between education level and grammar.
Intelligent girls are a turn on… So a smart woman who is a cunning linguist can be equivalent to stripping to me haha… Improperly using ‘me’ and ‘I’ can be a turn off
Dumb girls just don’t do it for me. She doesn’t have to Shakespeare, but she can’t be Jim-Bob either

It’s important to note that a handful of men who cited good grammar as important actually used incorrect grammar in their explanations. Point being, what we value is not always what we’re good at.

The bottom line? Bad grammar, just like a bad selfie, will only hurt your online dating conversation rate (ODCR). Vast improvement can be seen by focusing on just three sets of words:
Your/you’re
They’re/their/there
To/two/too
If you tend to mix up these homophones, you’re not alone. So what’s the answer?
Learn the basics. Practice. Groom your communications. Re-read what you write before you send it. When you see more replies popping up in your inbox, you’ll be happy you did.

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4th of July Quotes

old-glory

Liberty and Justice For All

To get you in the spirit this national holiday we thought we’d share some of our favorite 4th July Freedom quotes with you. To all patriotic Americans, whether you will be spending the day at your local parade, a fireworks display or with friends and family or just getting drunk, you sure know you are in for a good time. So let’s celebrate the birth of what we now know as the USA.

4th of July Quotes that are worth remembering:-

“I believe in America because we have great dreams, and because we have the opportunity to make those dreams come true.” — Wendell L. Wilkie

“If you take advantage of everything that America has to offer, there’s nothing you can’t accomplish.” — Geraldine Ferraro

“From every mountain side, 
Let freedom ring….” — Samuel Francis Smith

4th-of-july

4th of July at the Statue Of Liberty

“We must be free not because we claim freedom, but because we practice it.” — William Faulkner

“I love my freedom. I love my America.” — Jessi Lane Adams

“The United States is the only country with a known birthday.” — James G. Blaine

little patriots

Young Patriots

“My patriotic heart beats red, white, and blue.”  — Author Unknown

“Those who won our independence believed liberty to be the secret of happiness and courage to be the secret of liberty.” — Louis D. Brandeis

“Freedom is nothing else but a chance to be better.” — Albert Camus

There you are – some truly awesome 4th of July Quotes. Hope you have a fun day, and a fun night too, from all of us at Singles 247.

Happy 4th Of July everyone and let’s not forget God Bless America.

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My ex won’t let go

Dear Nicola,

After a year long relationship it was time to call it a day with my girlfriend, things weren’t working out even though it was the hardest decision I had to make as I still have feeling for her. The problem is she won’t take no for an answer and i’m at a loss as to what to do to make her understand we both need to move on. When weeks pass with no contact and I think she’s realised then out of the blue I will get a message from her reminding me of all the upset and pain that caused the breakup. She won’t let go so what can I do to make her understand without hurting her feelings too much. Neil

Hi Neil

There’s no easy way to tell her without hurting her feelings as by the sounds of it she won’t let go of the past. The best way is to not respond to any messages or have physical communication/contact. To continue dialogue with your ex will just prolong the agony not just for you but her too. If there is constant communication then she will use this as the green light to continue wanting you back, she will find some form of contact is better than no contact no matter how unwilling you are to get back together. To not let go of the past she doesn’t want you to forget her hence the continuous contact. Even though it’s very upsetting and there is feelings for her you can’t let her know of this as it’s a recipe for disaster if you want to move on with your life. If your ex has friends or relatives that can speak with her to help her get through this difficult time then eventually she will give up and move on with her life too. Good luck for the future.

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Sex with Google Glass

Technology can make sex more enjoyable

Would you have sex with Google Glasses? It sounds astonishing but developers based in London have created a new app with a wearable tech in the form of Google glasses which let’s you see what your partner is seeing while having sex.

How it works is with a shared live streaming, ephemeral video recording, voice and light controls for your connected home. It’s voice activated, just say ‘OK glass, it’s time’ and Glass will stream what you see to each other, if you feel like stopping everything, just ask ‘OK glass, pull out’. You can record your sexual experience and watch replays for your own pleasure.

An orgasmic experience

Sherif Maktabi the founder of the project started off with the idea of how to make sex more awesome with Google Glass. This is what he had to say…

“Some people find what we do repulsive,” Maktabi says. “But a lot of other people – and I am basing this from the emails we are getting online – really desire to try this. People have fantasies, desires and needs. It’s personal.
“What they do with that is up to them. Guilt, dogma and shame is something we still widely experience when it comes to sex and how we talk about it.”


This new app has caused controversy raising concerns over privacy, exploitation and potential ‘creepy’ hackers with a peep show fetish. Sex with glass app is currently be developed for the iPhone which was due to be released last February.

With new technology do you think sex will ever be the same? It’s an individual preference whether to use Sex with Google Glass, but for it to work you need to find a similar partner who is keen to try it too. Of what could be a mind blowing orgasmic experience this could also improve your sex life.

Maybe one of our online members registered at Singles 247 Dating site would give it a go? Sign up for free and get wearing those Google Glasses!

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Why can’t I find love?

Dear Nicola,

I’m in my late twenties and have had a handful of failed relationships, some long term and some months worth but I think to myself will I ever find love? My friends tell me maybe it’s because of the men I pick are wrong where most i’ve met are either online dating or on a night out in a bar. I’m getting to the point where i’m loosing faith and it’s depressing to watch my friends all loved up and planning for the future. I am getting worried that I will be left on the shelf. I hope you can help Nicola, thanks Ruth

Hi Ruth

Life is full of twists and turns and to some degree our decisions can influence our paths when it comes to finding love. Never say never as your next relationship could be just around the corner. It’s not healthy to dwell on past failed relationships it can hinder you for the future prospects. Your friends may have a point that you are meeting guys through the wrong places where people in clubs or online dating are more non-committal. Maybe get to know someone on mutual grounds like a friend or someone you share a common interest with. It may be best to not think about finding love and let nature take it’s course, as the old saying goes ‘when you don’t look it happens’. It’s best to focus on yourself and getting everything how you want it i.e. career, friendships and enjoying life without being dependant on a partner for now. Hope this helps!

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Why do women forgive cheaters?

Why do women forgive cheaters more than men?

Could you forgive cheating?

Could you forgive cheating?

Research has shown that women forgive cheaters more than men, although you would think it would be the other way round seeing as women are more the emotional gender and compared to men you would think they would be the ones that don’t forgive easily. So why is that women tolerate cheating?

Most women will tolerate their partner straying or making relationship blunders more than once even up to twice before dumping them. Men show a massive 9 out of 10 would dump their partner if they strayed just once.

Are women more realistic? If women have been in a long term relationship rather than loose the stability and companionship that a partner brings, if there’s a chance to rectify the situation then women will try to save the relationship. Women are more open minded and look at the bigger picture, yes he made a mistake but if there is a lot to loose then why take the risk of throwing it all away. Women who have kids would find it harder to walk away for the sake of their children. To keep a family unit together is priority and with traditional values that parents should stay together is seen to be the done thing. If the guy strayed for a moment of madness whether it be under the influence of alcohol or out partying with friends, being tempted by a younger model these are hardly benefits of long term prospects. Women are more forgiving but won’t be taken for a fool they weigh the situation up and if there is consistent betrayal after the second or third attempt then it’s the end of the relationship.

Social scientist Catherine Hakim says “If you take the view that most of them blow over and a good marriage is still a good marriage we should be a bit more laid back about them like the French, Italians and Spanish.”.

Why are men not so forgiving? Men are more territorial and they just can’t handle the thought of another man messing around with his woman. The woman is like a property to them, their ‘goods’ being touched which they can’t get over. Their egos are knocked and for the sake of their pride they do not forgive easily. Men are prepared to throw away years of investment after one stupid mistake research has shown.

Typical male response “”It’s just not very masculine thing to let another guy get it on with your girlfriend and let them get away with it, is it? We’d look like a right walkover.”

Everyone is allowed to make mistakes now and again we’re all human but the question is how often do you forgive for cheating? If you want to be in a committed relationship or looking for a long term partner then sign up to the Singles 247 Dating website.

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First Date Mistakes You Won’t Recover From

No-first-kissA first date is always a nervous affair no matter how many you have been on before, and as everyone knows there are certain things that you should always avoid. However not everyone knows that there are certain mistakes you can make that you will not be able to recover from.

If you avoid these fatal mistakes then no matter how badly your date went, you will be able to recover it. This list was comprised to stop you from making the worst dating faux pas possible on a first date.

1) Forcing the First Kiss

We all have an idea of how your first kiss should be, we’ve all seen the movies where you walk her home and move in for the kill outside her door. But when it comes to reality women may want to wait longer than the first date to share that important moment.

Depending on how the date went is usually what sways the woman to either accept or reject the first kiss. What a guy perceives as a successful first date could be completely different from a woman’s perspective.

If the two of you aren’t on the same page then it can lead to a very awkward encounter where he leans in and she moves away, making you look foolish and embarrassed or you lean in again until she can’t back away almost as though you are forcing yourself upon her. Either one of these scenarios isn’t great and can make you come across as too eager.

2) Talking Politics

Or any other subject of debate, it’s never a good idea to get into an argument on a date let alone a first date. Your political or religious views can completely change your date’s views of you. If for no other reason discussing politics is hardly a topic that will tell you a lot about their personality and their hobbies anyway

If you are going to talk politics which we highly recommend you avoid, make sure you both support the same political party.

3) Avoid Overstepping Boundaries

This is going to be your first date, probably the first time you have ever sat down with them, so don’t make the crucial mistake of trying to hold hands over the table. Public displays of affection are often used to show you are exclusive, it suggests that you own one another, a statement you definitely can’t make on a first date.

You never want to overstep your mark, and public displays go way past that boundary, physical contact should be kept to a handshake when you first meet and maybe a kiss or hug at the end of the date if things go well. Any more than that and you are going way too far.

Other honourable mentions of things you really should avoid on a first date are:

  • Talking about an ex
  • Talking about money
  • Poor hygiene
  • Trying too hard
  • Talking too much

Now you know what you must avoid when going on a first date, now is the time to find that special someone that you want to take on a date – it’s easy via the Singles 247 dating site.

 

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Do long distance relationships work

Dear Nicola,

A couple of years ago I went on holiday abroad and met a guy I quickly fell for in Spain. Upon my return home I instantly booked another flight to go out and see him just 2 weeks later much to my families disapproval. I didn’t care I was lovestruck, over the past handful of months i have flow out 4 times and he has just flown to the UK once. When we are together it is great but we both realise in reality to continue travelling back and forth is proving very difficult more for financial reasons. It has reached the stage where we are now questioning whether this relationship is going to work due to the long distance. Do we call it a day and move on or stay as we are in hope one of us moves closer, would be grateful for your reply thanks Melanie

Hi Melanie,

Usually holiday romances are finished before they’ve started but this sounds like you are trying your best to keep the romance going no matter if thousands of miles are in the way. I must point out that you have made more journeys and effort to meet so make sure his efforts are sincere even though he may not have the money which is understandable. Some long distance relationships work some don’t but only time will tell as the old saying goes. If you feel he is the one for you then you will make it work somehow, there will always be a way to be together and it will no doubt be that if you are both serious about eachother then one of you will have to make the big move.

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Is it the man’s responsibility to pay for his date?

Dinner for two but who will pay?

Most of us have all been there where we have started dating and enjoying eachothers company by day trips out or spending evenings out in restaurants. But as nice as this all sounds who’s going to foot the bill? Is it the man’s responsibility to pay?

From tradition it is always expected for the man to pay or at least be quick to offer before the lady has a chance to think about it. It’s a romantic gesture which is said to give a good impression with his date. Many see this as an act of a being a gentleman which would send your new found relationship off to a good start.

There are many people who consider this the right approach but it’s dependant predominantly on culture. Where a person is from can have an effect on their values and beliefs of what is considered the right thing to do. In the middle eastern countries “going dutch” is considered extremely rude whereas in European countries splitting the bill in restaurants is common.

This brings us back to equality too, if a couple are on the same income shouldn’t the bill be split? or if the woman is earning more than the man why can’t she pay for his date? The responsibility for the man to pay may perhaps stem from many years ago when the men were the only breadwinners supporting their families hence why it’s been seen as tradition.

There’s no right or wrong answer it purely boils down to the individuals dating and what they perceive as the ‘done’ thing to do. As long as a couple have an understanding and can compromise there shouldn’t be a problem for the long term. Initially though first impressions count and if you are a man who would like to make a good impression with whining and dining your date then reach for the wallet without hesitation.

Maybe give it a go with a date from Single 247 Dating site and keep the old tradition going.

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