It’s the part of dating we never talk about. How we ended up single …
Sometimes we are the ones who got away. Sometimes we aren’t so fortunate, and we’re left pining over someone we thought we’d be with forever.
So how do you get back on your feet after a break-up?
It’s one of those times when you almost have to act on auto-pilot. The more disciplined you are with yourself, the easier it will be. Tough love is the only cure for a broken heart, but you have to be the one to apply it to yourself.
If you’ve been dumped and you didn’t want to break up, then the only way to get over your ex is by deleting him or her from your life. Not necessarily forever, but at least until you’re over it. Don’t try to stay friends – you’re only making the situation more painful for yourself. Block him or her from your social media so that you’re not tempted to peek at their accounts.
Delete his or her number from your phone too. You may not want to text now, but after a drink or two, you might get other ideas.
Remove all trace of the other person from your life – hide, or throw away the things which remind you of your relationship. Staring at someone else’s toothbrush every morning isn’t going to help you start the day in the right frame of mind.
Hide photographs and momentos, delete messages from your phone, and stop listening to songs which you remind you of your ex. You need to go cold turkey.
Don’t Suffer False Hope
A lot of the time, people aren’t good at ending relationships. They don’t know how to do it efficiently, and try their best not to hurt the other person, which can lead to mixed signals. The worst thing you can do for yourself is to misread the signals and get your hopes up unnecessarily. Don’t try to be friends. It’s too soon. If they give you some space, they are actually doing the right thing.
No Break-Up Sex
It doesn’t make you feel better. And it won’t win your ex back. Don’t make yourself feel even worse by reminding yourself what you’re missing. You’re meant to be going cold turkey remember!
Give Yourself Time
A break-up is a grieving process. Yes, the person is still alive, but they’re not in your life any more, and that will take some getting used to. Give yourself time. Let yourself cry, or shout. Let yourself mope. Talk to a close friend about the way you’re feeling.
Put it in Context
Yes, break-ups suck, but there are far worse things that can happen. The end of a relationship can be all consuming. Take a moment to look around you and appreciate all the bad things happening to other people. Things could be a lot worse. Talk to your friends … and when I say talk, what I mean is listen. Listen to your friends’ problems, and put things into perspective. Remember, everyone has rubbish stuff going on. It may not feel like it, but things could be a lot worse.
Find A Distraction
Focus on you. What do you want to do? One of the best parts of being single is that you can be selfish. Now you have more time, how do you want to spend it?
You might not feel like looking elsewhere yet, but give yourself time. The only way to really get over an ex, is by finding someone you like even more. Don’t rush things, but when you’re ready get online and remind yourself what your options are. If you feel like there’s no one else in the world for you, take a trip to a busy spot, and look around. There are 64 million people in the UK alone.
And then one day, you realise you don’t have to distract yourself any more. That you’re no longer forcing yourself to block out the memories, or to look around at other people. It might take some time, but you’ll get there … I promise.
Thanks to Charly there with some great advice on how to get over an ex. To ease the pain maybe the trick is to find someone new via the Singles 247 site who can help you look to the future and forget about the past.