How niche has internet dating become?

How niche has internet dating become?

With more and more people joining online dating sites and it becoming more acceptable to do so, has meeting someone on the web become easier?

Websites like Eharmony and Match brought online dating world to the masses some years ago, and now singles have the possibility to find a partner who shares their interests. The chances of romantically meeting someone in a café or on a night out are much slimmer than they used to be. Why trouble yourself with the nerve racking experience of finding someone in a public place when you can do it in the comfort of your home.

This big boom in online dating has undoubtedly helped cultures where it is difficult to meet someone new, as well as singles who do not have the time or resources to meet people.

Online dating has developed so much further past the ‘profile pic.’ Customers are now asked to fill out masses of personal details to help the computer algorithms crunch to find the perfect match.

Along with niche dating sites, finding somebody over the web has become much more of a science. If you are of a certain religion or ethnicity there will be a website for you. The industry has boomed and there has been an astonishing number of niche sites like bbw singles, single parent dating and Millionaire Dating. The opportunities to find someone who shares your interests you are much higher than previously. Traditionally dating profiles have been for workaholics, aged between 25-35 who simply don’t have the time to meet someone; whereas now the possibilities are endless.

There are still your ‘quick fix’ solutions. Tinder remains one of the most popular dating apps in the world, due to its easy accessibility and free download. Its easy interface means you simply have to swipe right and hope for match. The odds of finding love, however, might not be great.

When you take your game seriously, you should consider a site like eHarmony. It takes online dating very seriously and even took out a patent on their Compatibility Matching System. they have worked on their questionnaire for 35 years; these kind of sites really want to match you up with someone who’s character actually suits you, as a member you must spend time actually answering a personality test.
There is such a wider variety of sites and such a wide range of specification for finding matches. BeautifulPeople only allows you to register if other members deem your appearance to be good enough. As shallow as it sounds, it is just a way of increasing the odds and making it easier for people to get matches. In comparison Tastebuds.fm allows you to find a partner based on music taste.

Even if dating sites are not your thing, as they are possibly a bit daunting for some you can find something more anonymous by going to online games or chatrooms. Going online can even help with life decisions, and you can invent a new name for yourself and go spontaneously into conversation with other people. Often online games match chat rooms where you can easily and anonymously let your feelings run free.

There is no doubt that the world of dating has changed. As people become busier and busier it is harder to find that one special person, so perhaps the vast opportunities of online dating are a step in the right direction.

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Every woman I fancy puts me in the ‘friend zone’

Dear Agony Aunt Nicola

I’ve been single for a long time, it’s got me to now as I don’t seem to find someone who’s interested romantically. I have tried to ask women out on dates on numerous occasions but usually they would rather just be friends, I end up with more female friends than guys! I am of average looks, smart, have a good job and financially secure I don’t understand why I can’t find a girlfriend. Is there anything I could be doing wrong? Tom

Hi Tom

When you go looking for a date it’s more than likely not going to happen, where as most people find that when they least expect it romance is just around the corner. Without knowing your techniques I can’t say if you’re doing anything particularly wrong but at the same time you must be yourself and if people don’t like that then tough. Romance tends to develop further through friendship which is the ideal way for a long lasting relationship so don’t give up just yet. Try not to put too much pressure on yourself, even if you have your eye on a potential date let it blossom naturally.

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Social Media and your break up

It’s needless to say, social media is such an integral part of all our lives. When we experience something exciting we might share it on Facebook, when we find something amusing we might take to Twitter. Social media provides an outlet for what we need to express, but it isn’t always positive.

Before social media when you broke up with someone you were left with a small number of things; some mementos, old answer phone messages and memories. With the rise in sites such as Facebook, Twitter and Instagram you have constant access to all of that person’s photos, their daily updates, videos of you two together, knowledge of who they’re seeing, who they’re not seeing, what events they have gone to, what events they are planning, what events they are unsure whether they want to go to or not.

Advice columnists around the world say the cure for a break up is a small amount of reflection on the relationship and the other person but to develop a keen desire to move on. With social media a small amount of reflection can easily turn into a constant, keen observation. After a difficult break up we have a desire to relive and continue what we once experienced. Social media acts as an outlet for that particular need, but it can easily become exaggerated.

It’s really surprising how many channels are available to connect to people we know, so the first thing to do is find them all. Be warned, this can easily become a trip down Nostalgia Road (Memory Lane’s more depressing side street), so give yourself a time limit. You need to find all the ways you’ve connected to that person online within, say, fifteen minutes. Do you have access to their location on ‘Find my Friends’? Do have a chat history on WhatsApp? Do you have photos together on Facebook? Did you two make a lip sync video on Youtube?

If you thought I wasn’t going to tell you now delete them all, then I feel a little sorry for what I’m about to say next; now delete them all! If you see yourself having absolutely no future with that person (and be honest with yourself), reflecting over old photos, videos and messages will do nothing but prolong the hurt. Don’t be afraid to ask a friend to delete them on your behalf. This is supposed to be difficult, but after doing this you will feel so much better.

You’re probably itching to send a message or maybe do a little facebook stalking. There are tools online that will help you through this. Set up a sitelock on Facebook, Twitter or anywhere else you can check on that person, and ask a friend to make a password. A small breather away from the mass communication of social media will alleviate the pain. Maybe join social media sites that you know your ex isn’t part of. Going cold turkey can be difficult, so setting up a profile on a new and interesting networking site but still remaining cut off from your ex might be a good idea. Maybe start that Youtube series you’ve always been thinking about or try and write a new blog. There’s also a tool out there that’ll play Nickleback to help you get over your ex when you stalk your ex online, so there’s alweays that!

Of course, when time has passed you could consider is trying an online dating site to find someone new.

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I’m getting bored of my relationship

Dear Agony Aunt Nicola

For the past two years i’ve been in a relationship that I feel is getting tedious and generally boring. My partner has no get up and go and is quite happy to sit at home playing on his computer where as I would love to go out and about such as meals out, fun activities etc. To have a conversation with him is impossible as he’s only half listening while being distracted by his computer games. There’s not much communication going on so I don’t feel the point in continuing with this boring relationship, any advice would be appreciated. Chloe

Hi Chloe

The problem here is obviously lack of communication between the two of you. Ask yourself have you done the most to make him realise he could be sacrificing his relationship for his games. Talking to him when he’s half listening won’t work as he’s so engrossed in what he’s doing. When you choose your time to talk make sure it’s not while he’s gaming as he should really listen to you then. If he still doesn’t then give him an ultimatum that he can’t avoid, if you don’t make a stand now the problem will continue.

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5 Online Dating Tips You Need to Know

If you enter the dating arena with the right frame of mind and a willingness to just enjoy the experience and to embrace each dating experience for what it is, you will soon realise the many benefits that Internet dating has to offer. Check out what to do to make sure you can make the best out of that!

1. Be honest with your profile
The most important thing to be considered for a successful online dating is creating an honest, attractive profile. Don’t exaggerate your looks or your personality, because sooner or later, your partner will be able to find them that they are lies. While creating the profile picture, it is the habit of many people to upload their pictures taken at a very young age, when they were so beautiful and young. Try to upload your recent pictures and be as natural as possible so that your partner will not be disappointed when he or she meets you during the first time.
If possible, use pictures taken during your recent vacation or some kind of photos in which you are involved doing your hobby. These kinds of pictures can be helpful for starting a conversation.

2. Use a status line that states your purpose
If you can make it fun and clever that would be an additional advantage for you. But just ensure that you don’t make it too cleverly such that the reader needs a decryption algorithm to crack the meaning of the status line. The status line should encourage the readers to click on your profile and to know more about you.
Select an attractive username. Don’t use a mix of impossible numbers or characters. They don’t mean anything and people usually find people, who they can remember with their names.

3. Write a good description
In the description, you can use 3 or 4 paragraphs. First state who you are and what you are looking for. Again, it is worthy to state here: “Honesty is the best policy”. Be creative and unique as much as possible. Don’t share too much of your personal life. Create a limit between your more personal things and the things that you can share with strangers.
Try to be brief. You can create funny descriptions, but too much of description could bore the visitors. Once you are done with the description, read it for the second time and do a spell check.

4. Asking questions creates more opportunities
When writing your first email to a person you are interested in, try to ask more questions to them rather than giving more of your personal information. Try to seem more engaged. You can also give compliments based on their profile like “You have a beautiful smile”, “Your profile is very interesting” and so on.

5. Train your communication skills
One of the most important of all the online dating tips is communication skills. Improve on your communication techniques and skills. Because, only when you impress a person with your words and messages, you will win your first date. Try to be polite while communicating and respect each other.

The most common complaint received while online dating is that the person disappeared after a while. It is very disrespectful. If you want to stop talking to a person, be honest and say that politely that you don’t wish to continue the relationship further.

Confidence and honesty are the most important things that you should have to have a successful relationship. By following the above online dating tips you can improve your profile and get more chances of finding your perfect soul mate.

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5 Tips for Successful Chat Dating

Chat dating is not new, it has evolved over the time and has been around for many years. Part of the internet landscape are chat rooms which prior to the progress of internet, features an enhanced dating experience of couples from a multitude of dating websites.

There are many chat dating sites in a chat room, chat dating takes place in real time while people converse with each other. Other people can give you an immediate response where your comment will appear as soon as you type it and press the enter button. Some even takes advantage of the full use they can have using webcam chat dating and successfully it has solved some problems with communication encountered with dating online. You can have a listed view of chat dating participants on the side of the chat room with their nicknames and you can directly just click on their names to be able to converse with that person. You can access features such as “whisper’ for private messaging options or use voice and video chats to enhance your chat dating experience. There are many chat rooms available online for a specific group of interests.

But first, know the standards a chat room should maintain to have a fabulous chat dating experience.
For singles who wants to start dating online, you may follow these 5 easy tips for successful chat dating:

1. Keep it Private. Your username says a lot about your personality and you are asked to create a username, and its best if you remain as discreet as possible by revealing only few details about yourself. This name will be the name you’ll be using when you engage in chat dating with another person. Until you’ve gathered enough information from your date that would be the best time to reveal any kind of personal information.

2. Don’t type in all capital letters or use fonts and colors that are hard to read. Typing in this way can be misunderstood for shouting and you might even meet people who are annoyed to this. Generally, it is considered rude and unpleasant. Try to avoid using bright colors as this will make the words you type hard to read.

3. Be friendly especially when there is someone from the chat dating room enters. It’s a way to make yourself known to other people and it’s you next big step to enter the chatroom without being shy.

4. Don’t initiate cybersex in chat rooms unless it’s a room designated for cybersex. This is not a good idea, as you might be going against the site’s policy. In return, they might suspend your account once they’ve found you out using chats for sex. Don’t also opt for sex because dating is a decision.

5. Last but not the least, just be yourself. You need not to invent some personality who isn’t really you, after all, pretending someone who isn’t your true self is more than a liar. You know that this isn’t you, and it could be a really uncomfortable experience to guise yourself as another person. This will later on destroy you once you’ve chatted with someone you already like.

More and more singles are using chat rooms, but most of them are females who are greatly influenced by online dating.

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Can I date my ex-boyfriend’s best friend?

Dear Agony Aunt Nicola

It’s been nearly 5 years since my relationship with my ex boyfriend and we still talk now and then so there’s no bad feelings even if I did finish with him. I would like to think he’s over me as i’ve not heard any different, the problem for me is i’ve been spending time with his best mate which we’ve kept quiet. I am developing strong feelings for his best mate which is reciprocated but he doesn’t feel ready to tell my ex as he’s worried he’s going to lose him or fall out etc. I really want to have our relationship out in the open and be proud to say he’s my new boyfriend but I can’t and it’s really getting to me. What can I do? Stephanie

Hi Stephanie

It’s a very difficult situation to be in and not an easy choice for your new boyfriend who also has to consider his best friend’s feelings too. Unfortunately it’s a waiting game where you have to respect your new partners wishes and let him decide for when the time is right to become public with your relationship. Even though your ex is of no present link to your life he still is a big part of your new man. If after a long time such as many months down the line nothing has changed where you are keeping your romance still secret then it doesn’t bode well for your relationship. For the time being stay cool and calm, you never know it may be totally fine and your ex is okay with the situation.

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The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Daters

Dating is a must for everyone in a relationship but like everything in the world, some do well and some do worse.

The ones that do very well in their relationship follow certain rules which is a propagation of their character.

In order to do well in your relationship, here are the 7 habits of highly effective daters that you can implement in your relationship in order to attain growth.

1. PROACTIVENESS:
We are at liberty to blame anyone for circumstances surrounding us and therefore, you may wish to, considering how marriage is modeled in your family, blame your parents. You can as well blame the community where you live. Go ahead, blame men and women alike. You can choose to play the blame game all your life or simply begin to take complete responsibility of the kind of relationship that you desire and it does not matter what your personal history is, it does not matter where you are coming from. You have to be proactive but that depends solely on you.

2. BEGIN WITH THE END IN MIND:
What do you want to achieve from your relationship? Is it happiness, fulfillment, satisfaction, sense of belonging to someone? Just define your goals because your inability to define what you want makes it harder to achieve anything.

3. FIRST THINGS FIRST:
Learn to put your priorities right at first before any other thing. Dating comes with a lot of responsibilities and time management is an effective prerequisite that can help you sustain your relationships in the long run.

4. DEPLOY ‘WIN-WIN’ STRATEGY:
For every winner, there is a loser and for every loser there is winner. While this is the conventional outcome of any event in life, it is not the best if established in a relationship because someone is hurt. What if you could establish an outcome wherein everyone is a winner? Of course, everyone is happy.

5. SYNERGY:
Synergy is a believe that two heads are better than one. One guy whom I dated in the past wrote on the wall which states that 1+1=3. In other words, when compliment your partner in all he/she does, a lot of unpredicted awesome things will begin to manifest in your life.

6. ALWAYS SHARPEN THE SAW:
This is basically to keep yourself consistently fresh and renewed, poised for elevated growth for the rest of your life. If there are no provision for balance, zest for life, zeal to expand territories, you would become stagnant and most absolutely boring. Great relationships require two dynamic persons working forward to achieve growth wherein the aforementioned are required to oil the joints and reduce friction of any sort.

7. GROW FROM EFFECTIVENESS TO GREATNESS:
Now that you have an effective relationship having implemented the above listed requirements of an effective relationship, what will you do? Effectiveness is not enough. Move from effectiveness to greatness and keep building on that.

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Online Dating to Offline Wedding?

Is it possible to meet your lifetime partner and future spouse through the internet? Is it the right place to meet decent single persons?

In this digital age wherein the worldwide web is the most visited venue by all kinds of people, where else can we expect singles to converge? Online dating websites might casually have taken over party places, special events, gatherings, product launches, sporting events, conferences and other places as avenue for singles to socialize and meet. Social media sites such as Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn are other ways of meeting new people and possibly, one’s future spouse. This is a big plus for the single yuppies (young professionals) and career-minded singles who have no time to go out and meet new people. They are definitely in their right marrying age and are no longer into casual dating or one-night stands but are aiming towards settling down with the right one.

Social media sites were created for the purpose of connecting people globally. A single man from the northern hemisphere now has the capability to interact with a single lady from the southern part of Asia. Without the help of internet, something as magical as that would not have been possible at all. Friendships and marriages are built across the miles. Whether it leads to marriage or not, it is so gratifying to think that technology has brought worlds together and not apart. This is one of the beautiful things that online dating websites and social media have created.

It has indeed flattened the playing field for singles to convene and become acquainted with. Regardless of race, color or status in life, global online dating and social media have given an opportunity for all singles to interact and explore possibilities of friendship and marriage. This is a big advantage for singles who now have a wider choice, a deeper appreciation of each other’s differences, a broader definition of a good lifetime partner, an expansive comparison of eligible partners that would suit one’s preferences and greater chances of ending up with the right partner. There are also some singles who cannot express themselves well in person but are more comfortable in communicating online. I still believe that we live in a world of sensible and decent individuals who are there to offer honest and deep friendship.

For every woman, wedding is the most awaited moment of her life and she would do everything to ensure that she is with the right person as she walks down the aisle. Meeting one’s future spouse through the net is just one of the ways just as meeting him through a regular gym workout, attending a party are some of the ways. As two mature and sensible individuals, your conversations would reflect your true nature and you can very well gauge the sincerity of the other person. Your interactions over the net can give you enough time to test his true motives. However, it is always wise to make a background check on the truthfulness of his profile, kinds of friends, and organizations he is affiliated with. In this world of information technology, everything is at your finger tips to unravel.

Another important preparation to do before marrying someone you’ve met online is to gain understanding of each other’s culture, religion, beliefs and values system. These factors play an important role in a person’s decisions, behaviour and preferences. Remember that you are marrying someone who has a completely different background from you. You cannot impose your own values on someone else or expect them to think or behave as you normally would in a given situation. Understanding your partner’s background is the first step to embracing him for who he is.

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Valentines No Go Areas

The Traditional Valentine's Date

The Traditional Valentine’s Date

With the most romantic day of the year approaching once more, men all over the world must be asking, how can I impress my date? This is a definitive guide on where not to go!

1. Eating at a BBQ Joint
Tasty food I cannot deny, but for Valentines I am not so sure. When you get loaded up with food, you run the risk of having a face full of barbeque sauce! No doubt your Valentine will also try to do a knife and fork job; let’s hope she doesn’t get any on her outfit.

2. Watching the game at a sports bar
Unless you’re going out with a sports fan this is definitely a no go. Whilst you down pints and you eagerly lean in to watch the latest Premier League match, she will be bored stupid with her arms folded. Think of it this way, if you take her on a good enough date, you will earn brownie points so you can watch the game next time your team is playing.

3. Going to a casino
Us guys love going, but a casino is no place to take a lady on Valentine’s day. Once the novelty of a free drink wears off, she is going to be stuck at a poker table wishing she had stayed at home, whilst we try and learn how to keep a solid poker face. We might think we are James Bond, but she won’t!

4. Doing anything competitive
It might have worked in ’10 things I hate about you’ but this is real life. No girl wants to play paintball on Valentine’s day, or anything competitive for that matter. A day teeming off against each other doesn’t exactly put you in the mood for romance.

5. Hitting the club
Maybe a surprise choice, but can you actually have a romantic conversation in one. Having a boogie is always good fun, but try a salsa bar or somewhere a little more mellow.

6. Seeing a live gig
This is mostly dependant on who you go to see. But nine times out of ten it just won’t work out. The idea of being stood up getting barged about for two or three hours, isn’t going to win your date over. A live music venue can be a winner, but it has to be right, and it would be best to try a ‘sit-down-dinner-style’ with a live band.

7. A friend’s birthday party
This might sound like a great idea. It gives you an opportunity to show off your date in front of your mates and have some drinks. It’s a risky business though, when you’re with the guys and swigging the beer back it can be easy to ignore your date, or worse still end up too drunk to stand up.

8. A strip club
It sounds so obvious as something not to do, but it happens. You might think that the strip club vibe will go in your favour, but it’s highly unlikely! Your date definitely doesn’t want to see you leering after another girl, or being made to feel uncomfortable as she sees other women take off her clothes. Save it for another time.

9. Visiting a museum
It might seem cool and alternative, but she will probably think ‘snore fest.’ The idea of walking around a dusty museum for two hours may well just send her packing. The most romantic day of the year wasn’t meant to be for reading up on your history, or being told to ‘quieten down.’ Stay well clear.

10. A funeral
It seems a fairly miserable thought that I even have to include this on the list. Valentine’s day should be fun and romantic! The feeling of turning up to a funeral on your own isn’t fun, but it would be far better to be consoled afterwards. If you are unlucky enough to have a funeral coincide with Valentine’s day, you should go solo.

Whether us men like it or not, women seem to like Valentine’s Day. Therefore, it is us guys who have to come up with the unique ideas to make it a special day. Just make sure you steer clear of this list of Valentine’s no-go areas and you should be ok.


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