I think my wife might be a lesbian

Dear Nicola, I’ve been married for almost ten years and feel my wife is slowly drifting away from me. Even worse than that I feel she is drifting into the hands of another woman.
She’s always been a very sociable woman and loves arranging group gatherings but lately I see that she is being overly friendly with a close female friend. Others have seen them holding hands and I have been told that when they say goodbye to one another they share a lingering kiss. This makes me feel very awkward and uncomfortable, and I need to find out if there is anything going on behind my back. I don’t want to lose her but I can’t live a lie playing the role of a happy couple, when she is showing her love to another woman. We are supposed to be making plans for the future but I can’t do that is she is a lesbian. Help me, Jason.

Hi Jason

Without a doubt, the best way to approach this is to sit down and talk to your wife. Tell her what your concerns are and how her obvious advances with her female friend is making you feel very uncomfortable and that others are noticing too. I suggest not asking her if she is a lesbian directly as this could potentially annoy her and put her on the defence. She is your wife and unless you tell her exactly how concerned you are, this situation will continue which could eventually make you feel worse. If she has something to tell you regarding her sexuality, and if she is attracted to women then she needs to let you know. You are her husband and she needs to take her vows to you seriously and respect your wishes. I hope you two can work it out.

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Celebs Go Dating

The latest series of Celebs Go Dating has been riveting viewing, and we are going to miss it.

celebrity dating

#CelebsGoDating

There have been some real characters this time around – and the celebrity guys who were looking to find a partner via The Celebrity Dating Agency were James ‘Arg’ Argent from The Only Way is Essex, over the top gay Bobby Norris, reality TV veteran Calum Best and a former X Factor contestant named Frankie Cocozza. The celebrity women looking for love included Ex on the Beach’s and daughter of Les Dawson, Charlotte Dawson, TV and radio presenter Sarah-Jane Crawford, US actress Courtney Stodden and the sweet Georgia Toffolo from Made in Chelsea.

So a fair number of reality TV “stars” taking part in yet another reality TV show!

During the course of the show, viewers see the celebrities given tips on how to bag a partner, and some of their behaviour has been hilarious. Have any of the people on Celebs Go Dating found love though? It has been an eventful series, that’s for sure, with trendy London speed dating evenings, cringe group therapy sessions and Calum Best getting pushed off a boat by a woman he stood up and we’ve seen some very surprising twists and turns, but the only celebrity to find love is Bobby Norris who hit it off big time with Jack. In his final meeting at the agency, Bobby actually made the relationship adviser Eden Blackman cry real tears.

The other relationship adviser on the show is Lady Nadia Essex and between them they won’t stand for any nonsense from the celebs. They are tasked with pairing off the famous faces with their perfect matches, selected from members of the public. The two of them are ably assisted by Tom Read Wilson, who plays the role of the exuberant secretary. Incidentally Tom was once a contestant on The Voice, but he didn’t get very far.

The Celebrity Dating Agency doesn’t exist of course – it is just a made up name for TV. The closest online dating site we could find is called Minted Men which supposedly attracts celebrities.

We won’t miss the stupidity of some of the celebrities, but we will miss the show.

#CelebsGoDating come back soon!

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How To Cope After Separation

Dear Nicola, I have recently separated from my wife and find it incredibly hard to cope with the situation. I’m so emotional it is affecting my work where I can’t concentrate 100%. I have family and friends that have been trying to help me through this but there’s only so much they can do. I would be grateful if you could give me advice on how to cope. Dan.

One of the hardest things to deal with when you are recovering from a separation is the sad feeling that can leave you lost and upset. Some people take months, some take years to recover but the old saying ‘time is a good healer’ although a cliché is very true. As time goes on you will be able to deal with being single again and move forward as life is too short to dwell on the past. Stay focused on finding new ways to meet new people and make new friends as this is a good base to help you cope after separation and move on and find a romantic partner.

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My Girlfriend Doesn’t Know My Real Job

Hi Nicola, I’ve been with a lovely woman for a few months now, after many years of being single. I feel I can really connect with her but I am worried the relationship will get ruined as she doesn’t know my job as a debt collector. She thinks I am an office worker with prospects and I have hidden the truth from her. She’s a high earner and I don’t know what she sees in me. She thinks I have career prospects and I just don’t. I don’t know how to tell her I just do as I am told at work. Calum

Hi Calum, I feel for you and understand your thoughts on this but at the end of the day if she likes you then she shouldn’t judge you by what you do for a living. Bing open and honest is the key to a successful relationship, so the sooner you tell her what your job is, the better for all concerned, as if you don’t she will think you will always be dishonest. If you feel your job is not good enough for her then maybe you should consider a career change. Look for online courses or further education to broaden your horizons, but that’s only if you really want to, don’t try and change the person you are.

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How can I get my boyfriend to tidy up?

Dear Agony Aunt Nicola

My boyfriend and I keep arguing about whose doing the housework, its becoming really frustrating. We both work full time jobs so have the same time off but trying to get him to help with the cleaning, cooking, washing up, laundry is like banging my head against a brick wall. I don’t want to sound like a nag and the last thing I want to do it keep arguing, BUT I’M NOT HIS MOTHER! I really wish he would want to help do these things… just because I am female it does not automatically mean I am not going to want help. I too want to sit down and relax. Please help! Becca

Hi Becca

This is something I hear on a regular basis and I do sympathise with you. This is a common cause of arguments in cohabiting relationships. What I tell everyone with the same problem, is go back to basics, start a rota and split everything between you, one night he cooks, the other night you cook. Mix it up and see how that works for a trial time. If it doesn’t work my suggestion would be to start cooking your own dinner and washing your own clothes. By the time he’s realised he’s run out of clean boxers he’ll be forced to rethink his bad habits when he’s having to wear his dirty undies inside out.

I hope this helps, do keep me updated should you need any more advice.

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How can I make my girlfriend lose weight?

Dear Agony Aunt Nicola

Back at the beginning of my relationship my girlfriend was toned, slim and physically fit but now after 3 years she’s become a little bit too chubby fat. The main thing that attracted me to her was the way she presented herself and looked after her body. Now shes a bigger she dresses in awful frump clothes. The last thing I want to do is upset or break up with her but I just don’t find her attractive at the moment. I don’t know what to do… please help! Rory

Hi Rory

Overtime couples can feel relaxed and comfortable in their relationships so much they don’t feel they need to put as much effort in to their appearances. It happens to women more often.? Another contributing factor to weight gain is also if people are feeling a bit low so look to food that gives them instant comfort for the short term. Find out the reason for her weight gain first, she could be so comfortable with your relationship she is unaware of her weight being an issue or ask her if she’s got any worries or needs some motivation in life. Tell her how much you care and that you value your relationship and want to make her happy which could give her the boost he needs. Also suggest doing some sports activities that you could enjoy together as well as help her get fit, probably the best solution! Get to the root cause and pin point what’s going, once you find out then work together as a couple which in turn the future will look promising.

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I can’t get over my boyfriends kiss with his ex

Dear Agony Aunt Nicola

I am really depressed over my boyfriend’s past. We’re in our early twenties and both virgins – but I was not his first kiss. He had a silly relationship at school when he was 16 and I can’t seem to get over it. I can’t accept he shared that moment with another girl. I feel less special, that she is better than me and all the kisses we have can never be as good as his first kiss with her. I know this is irrational but I can’t help it. I think of it all the time and it’s ruining our relationship as well as taking over my life. Cassie

Hi Cassie

He kissed someone else, but he’s kissing you now. You really need to concentrate on your relationship for the present and future things to look forward to. An inexperienced first kiss with someone that he doesn’t even see anymore means nothing compared to the months/years you have created together now.

You also mentioned that you are both virgins, forget about the kiss because you are going to potentially share a very special intimate moment when are you both ready to have sex. That is the most special thing you can share with your boyfriend.

Don’t spend time dwelling on the past as you could ruin your future with him. It can’t be changed and you shouldn’t destroy the future with things in the past. If you feel there may be deeper issues that could be the result of you feeling like this, you may want to explore them.

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My girlfriend is sexually neglecting me

Dear Agony Aunt Nicola

My girlfriend has recently been requesting that we use sex toys a little too much. I’m all for spicing things up and trying new stuff but I feel that she is enjoying using her dildo more than she enjoys my dick. At first I was surprised because she used to been quite hesitant to use them but now I’m lucky if I get sex once a week without using some form of aid. Is she trying to say I’m not satisfying her anymore? Any advice on how I can get her to want me and not the plastic kind? Jason

Hi Jason

Sexual intimacy with your partner is important and there needs to be an understanding that you each know what the other enjoys. You have to be honest with her and let her know how you’re feeling. She might not realise that it’s causing you some frustration. Plan some days/nights when you get intimate without the dildo or other sex toys. Explain that you want to enjoy being intimate with her on your own.

If your regular sex positions aren’t doing it for her, which could be her reason for turning to a dildo, maybe try some new positions and experiment together. Sometimes it’s nice to please your partner but if it’s all one sided things aren’t going to work for you both.

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I can’t get over my partner kissing her ex

Dear Agony Aunt Nicola

I am really depressed over my girlfriend’s past. We’re in our early twenties and both virgins – but I was not her first kiss. She had a silly relationship at school when she was 16 and I can’t seem to get over it. I can’t accept she shared that with another guy. I feel less special, that he is better than me and all the kisses we have can never be as good as her first kiss with him. I know this is irrational but I can’t help it. I think of it all the time and it’s ruining our relationship as well as taking over my life. Colin

Hi Colin

She kissed someone else, but she’s kissing you now. You really need to concentrate on your relationship for the present and future things to look forward to. Think about what works for your relationship and what connected you together initially. The best way is to communicate with each other and be positive, find out the root cause of your fixation on her past over this kiss. There are wider issues that could be the result of you feeling like this that you may want to explore.

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How to make first communion veils and banners

Once you decide whether you want to make a headband, a bow, a barrette, or a cluster of flowers, everything else becomes very easy! All these headbands can be made more or less the same way.

Material

Pick sheer bridal fabric is the ideal choice for the right veil. The bridal tulle is not only broader, but also wider than other fabrics, which means the veil can be a lot fuller. Another other option is to fabric that is already trimmed in lace. Alternatively, you can do it yourself while keeping the ends unfinished. This helps you create a simple veil that has a rolled hem. Besides, most store bought veils come finished.

Length

Now that you have the desired width to make a First Communion veil, the next thing is to determine the length. Ask your daughter how long she would like it to be. Some girls like veils that go over their shoulder near the elbows. You can cut the edges in curves after you cut the tulle to your desired length.

What You Will Need:

Thin floral wire
Floral tape
Needle nose wire cutters
Pearl edged tulle ribbon
Glue gun or fabric glue
A handful of silk flowers in various sizes and shapes
Silk/satin spools 1/4 inch ribbon in white and accent colors
Small and large flowers
4-5 inch wide white tulle ribbon for back of headpiece
Needle and thread
Scissors

· Put the floral wire around your child’s head in a circle. Make a circlet by crimping and knotting the ends. Add the largest flowers and cut off their stems using the wire cutters. Leave 0.5-1 inch of each stem to tape the flowers to the wire.

· Use floral tape to attach the largest flowers evenly around the circle. As you wrap the floral tape around the flower and wire, stretch it and wrap it to make it sticky and workable. Continue the process till you finish with the smaller textural flowers around the circle and in the open areas using tape.

· Create tiny gathers using a floral wire or clear monofilament thread such as a fishing line. Use a hand needle (zigzag stitch) or machine stitch to gather the veil and fasten the gathers. You can decide how full or loose you want to make the gathers.

· Attach the gathered veil to the headband. You can either buy one or cut one out. You can sew the veil at the gathers directly onto the headpiece if you leave the round headpiece intact. If you want a veil that is loose on top of the head, stretch it around the ring if that is the look you want.

· Cover all the floral tape with the pearl edged tulle ribbon by twining it around and wrapping the whole wreath tightly. Use a little glue from the glue gun or fabric glue at the beginning and end of the tulle ribbon, so that it stays put. Cut the extra length off and save it for draping down the back.

· For the finishing touches, cut 32-36 inches of the 4-inch wide tulle and tie it to the back, so that it drapes down evenly. Tie the 1/4 inch ribbons evenly over the tulle.

· For tighter gathers, use transparent combs that can be found in the bridal sections of most craft stores. Hand sew the gathered veil onto these excellent additions. Treat it like it is a part of the headpiece by adding beads, crystals, ribbons or flowers. You can also use bobby pins, so that the headpiece stay put.

· Add the pearl edged tulle ribbon in a bow and drape the rest if you wish. Since the pearls make the bow heavy, add a couple of stitches with a needle and thread to the bow, so that it stays put and does not become loose.

This veil is easy to make and is very versatile in its look.
How To Make First Communion Banners

Check with your parish whether they have specific rules about sizes, materials, and even what can be seen on the banner before you start making one. Most parishes need a child’s first name to appear on the banner. They also like the date to be included somewhere on the banner.

Some of the most common elements that First Communion banners include, but are not limited to: a child’s name, the date, a chalice, grapes, bread, wheat, a Communion Host, and a cross.

What You Will Need:

1 piece of felt for the background
1 piece of felt for the cross
Assorted colors of felt
A bottle of glue
String
A pair of plain/fabric scissors
Wooden dowel
Glitter glue/fabric paint/craft jewels (optional)

· Once you know what rules you need to adhere to, start shopping for very stiff or self-adhesive felt letters, puffy paint or foam letters/shapes to decorate the banner. You can even buy iron-on or pre-cut felt letters at your craft store.

· Stiff felt makes tracing and cutting symbol pieces much easier for both parents and their children. Felt with glitter looks even better!

· You can also use fabric paint to write on the name and date, which would be a lot easier than cutting the letters out.

· Once you have all of your elements cut and ready, try out different layouts to see which one your child prefers the most.

· You can either to use good strong glue or sew your decorations to your banner if you do not buy self-adhesive felt or unpeeling adhesive. Use glitter glue and fabric paint or even fake jewels to decorate the banner.
· While you do not need to include all of the elements to prevent it from becoming too overwhelming, you may want to include something not on the list.

· Make sure everything seems like it will stay on. Use puffy paint to jazz up the banner a bit and give it a little sparkle. Even if it means uneven puffy paint lines, let your children do it, as it will always feel very special to them.

· When your child finishes decorating the front of their banner, let it all dry before putting the dowel through the back, so that it can hang up. While some churches hang them off the sides of the pews, others hang them all up on strings.

· Write your child’s name on the back of the banner. Marking it clearly ensures that the banner can be easily retuned after the First Communion Mass.

Make the project a family activity and leave all the decisions, including different parts of the decorating and cutting to the person whose banner it is. Include and involve the child making their First Communion always.

How To Make First Communion Invitations

All you need is a paper trimmer and a punch set that enables you to produce a continuous die-cut strip of double loops around every edge of a page. You will also need a few beautiful cross stickers.

First, print off your invitation on the white card stock. Cut the white printed card to the size of 8 inches by 3 inches.

Second, cut the outer paper to 9 inches by 4 inches, as this size will fit easily into a standard business size envelope.

Third, trim the outer and printed white paper corners using the punch set.

Fourth, cut a small 2 3/4 inch by 1 3/4 inch outer paper and again clipped the corners with the punch set.

Finally, assemble each card using the glue stick and add the cross as a final touch.

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