Do dating apps increase the number of STDs?


Too much Tinder can lead to STDs

Dating apps seem to be causing controversy and are becoming a real concern as an increasing number of people are developing STDs having met people via these apps.

Apps such as Tinder, Zoosk and Happn to name just a few are a genuine concern according to sexual health experts. A leading British health expert doctor states that apps should “invest more time in pushing a safe sex message” and he adds that the country is at its highest point for HIV ever.

The British Association for Sexual Health and HIV wants to raise awareness to push the message of having sex safe is a paramount. Dr Peter Greenhouse of the association has told the BBC “You are able to turn over partners more quickly with a dating app and the quicker you change partners the more likely you are to get infections.”

Dating apps Tinder and Happn are claiming around 50 million active members using their apps. Tinder enables its members to view profile photos which promotes easy matches. It’s quick and easy for people to easily connect via a swipe system on their phones to “like” one another.

Broadly speaking, Tinder has some to be known as a hook up app, and not a place for people interested in serious relationships. People need to understand that if they do use apps for this purpose, they should take precautions to avoid disease, and a leading health doctor has stated that because of their popularity it could very well lead to an “explosion” of STDs.

Dr Greenhouse said “If enough people change partners quickly, and they’ve got other untreated sexually transmitted infections, it might just start an explosion of HIV in the heterosexual population. Apps could do that.”

There has been a 33% rise in syphilis and 19% in gonorrhoea in the past twelve months, with sexual health centres continuing to care for many more patients each month.

Without doubt if you use dating apps then you need protect yourself when having sex. Alternatively, if you prefer to let a relationship devleop naturally, you should check out normal dating sites such as the Singles 247 online dating site.


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Winter Blues affect me dating

Dear Agony Aunt Nicola

I have been single for a fair amount of time now but what I have recognised is that over the winter months dating has become very difficult. I am fine having conversations via text or online as it’s good to be able to talk to different guys but when it comes to meeting I just can’t do it. I find myself very low call it winter blues but I don’t seem to have the energy to even meet for a coffee or in fact want to! It’s a shame as i’m talking to really nice guys one in particular and I know at some point he’s going to give up pursuing me as I keep putting off meeting him or making excuses. What should I do? Louise

Hi Louise

From what you have mentioned you have a form of weather disorder know as SAD which is a seasonal affective disorder. This can have an effect on peoples behaviour during the winter months where they become low and lethargic. It may be worth going to your doctor to find out the cause where they will give you a diagnosis from your symptoms. Until you have been to the doctor I wouldn’t push yourself to go dating as the last thing you want is to feel negative which your dates will pick up on. Upon first meeting of a new date because they don’t know you or what you’re going through it’s more than likely they will pick up on body language and if you are withdrawn they will not think you are interested. Get back to the real you in mind and body!

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Age Gap Dating

Dear Agony Aunt Nicola

I am a 25yr old guy who prefers older women and a lot of my friends think it’s crazy that I prefer to date women near enough double my age. I do think girls my age are too immature and increasingly annoying, it’s easier to have a conversation with a sexy older woman. Longterm wise I know it’s not the best situation to be in a relationship with someone who’s at a different stage in their life where they’ve had kids etc. I do want kids but majority of time the ladies I date don’t want to so then we end our relationship which is really painful. Please help? Adam

Hi Adam

The first thing you need to do is not worry about what people may think. It’s your life and you live it how you want, if you prefer the older woman there’s nothing wrong with that. As the old saying goes age is just a number, we can’t help who we are attracted to or fall in love with. Society is changing where women are putting their careers first before having kids, therefore new mums are becoming a lot older. Think positive and find ways to meet lots of different women of all ages as you may be surprised you may find a mature girl of the same age that you click with, who knows!

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Looking for ‘The One’

Dear Agony Aunt Nicola

I have been single for some time and i have found that new relationships always end in disaster or they just weren’t exactly what I’m looking for in a long-term partner. I am hard to please, my friends call me fussy and say I should just settle down and reckon I’ve missed the boat a few times. I am concerned time is flying by and that I will never find ‘The One’ but why should I be with someone who doesn’t tick all the boxes? Melanie

Hi Melanie

There’s no rush to find a partner and especially if you don’t feel they’re 100% right for you. No one is perfect, everyone has their flaws but when it’s about finding true love you will accept it if it’s meant to be. Go with your gut instinct as this is a good way to know if a relationship is right for you to continue. As the saying goes you have to kiss a few frogs to get to your prince. Take your time and enjoy your free time meeting new people which will give you a good chance in finding ‘The One’ for a long lasting relationship.

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The Importance of Being Honest

They say honesty is the best policy. And when it comes to dating, it’s certainly one of the most important.

Online dating has changed a great deal in the last decade. What began as a form of online lonely hearts, has progressed into a sophisticated, dedicated industry. Online daters come in all shapes and sizes, and so do the websites and apps available to them. The development of the industry has allowed daters to be increasingly specific about who they want, and what they want from that person.

In 2015, you can find almost anything online. Whether you desire a threesome, a sugar daddy, a mail order bride, a one night stand or a long-term relationship. But in order to ensure you get exactly what you want, there are three key areas of dating where honesty is of the essence.

1) Be honest about who you really are.

If you’re online dating, and actually plan to meet up with people, there is no point lying about who you are – to either yourself or potential matches. No one wants the first impression they make to be one of disappointment, but that’s likely to be the case if you mislead people about who you are.

Use photos which show the real you. Don’t select super-flattering options, which you know don’t really look like you do in person. And don’t use old photos, or ones which show a different version of yourself. If you’ve lost or gained weight recently, make sure the photos you use online are up-to-date. As a rule of thumb, you should never use photos which are over six months old.

When filling out your profile, think about stuff which is really important to you. Try to represent, as best you can, the real you. The person they would meet on the date. Don’t exaggerate or lie to attract people, just be yourself. The right people will be drawn to this.

2) Be honest about why you’re online

Never lie about your intention. Even if you’re in a relationship, and using online dating to cheat, there is no need to lie about it, in this day and age. There are actual sites designed to service those needs.

Be honest with yourself about what you want from an online relationship. How serious do you want it to get? Are you just looking for a friend, or someone to chat to? Do you desire no-strings sex, or a casual arrangement? Is there are specific sexual preference you wish to explore? Or are you looking for a long-term relationship?

The more honest you can be with yourself about what you want, the easier it is to find it. By honing in on your reason for dating online, you can choose the best site to suit those needs, and identify websites where you’re likely to meet like-minded people. Then, by communicating on your profile exactly what you are looking for in a relationship, you are laying your cards on the table from the very beginning. Anyone responding to your profile will be doing so with full disclosure.

3) Be honest about your feelings

The great part of dating online, is just how many options you are provided with. And you won’t like everyone. Be kind. Don’t lead others on unnecessarily. If you’re not interested in someone who approaches you online, it’s perfectly acceptable to ignore advances. Passive rejection is an accepted part of online dating.

If you go on a date or two with someone, and don’t feel any chemistry, but they don’t feel the same way, let them down gently. Never try to disguise rejection with extreme kindness – it will always be mis-read. If you’re not interested, get out of the relationship as quickly as possible.

Meet Genuine Singles at Singles 247 Dating site.

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Dating with Disabilities

Dear Agony Aunt Nicola

I’ve never been in a relationship and I think this is due to my impaired eyesight. How can I go on a date if I walk into walls?! I would like to think i’m very sociable and have confidence when it comes to public speaking but where dating is concerned I feel i’ve failed before it’s even started. My confidence is taking a knock with the thought of going through the process of physically getting to my date without making a fool of myself. Any advice would be much appreciated, thanks John.

Hi John

Dating can be much harder for those who have physical or psychological disabilities. There are plenty of disabled people who go dating and you shouldn’t be any different. Without knowing the extent of your visual impairment it’s best to plan your journey, maybe have someone on hand to help such as a friend or relative someone who you can trust that will be there for support. Once you have a meeting point arranged with your date it’s best to check the place out beforehand this will ensure your smooth arrival. Preparation is key for you, this will then give you the confidence to turn up for a date. It’s also best to let your date know of your concerns but do it in a light hearted way with some humour to keep it positive. Please keep in mind though that people who are worth dating are the ones who don’t judge you or make you feel uncomfortable.

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Safe Online Dating

Dating online is a lot of fun. Used properly, an online dating site can be the gateway to romance. However, as you embark on what could be the adventure of your life, it’s important to do so safely.

Remember you are dealing with strangers

Not everyone online is who they say they are, so apply some caution. It’s perfectly normal to do some preliminary online searches to ensure the person you’re meeting is who he or she says they are. Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter should normally confirm a basic ID check, and a number of sites now offer this function for you. Facebook can be particularly useful if you establish you have a mutual friend in common, who can vouch for him or her.

Never give out personal details online

This can sound tough, when you’re trying to get to know someone. But steer clear of telling a stranger your date of birth, place of birth, and other details which could be used for identity fraud. Remember things like the name of your first pet, or your first ever job may also be used by online banking sites, so be careful about giving specific details to anyone.

Never give money to someone you meet online

This may sound obvious, but online scams trick thousands of people worldwide each year. Never give someone you’ve never met, or only just met, money – no matter the reason. Often scammers will suggest they need the money to come to meet you, or for urgent family reasons. No matter how emotionally tied you feel to the person, remember they are still a stranger. The same applies in the early stages of a relationship. It is not normal for someone you have recently begun a relationship with to ask you for large sums of money. Try to keep your wits about you, no matter how quickly your heart is falling for someone.

Always tell someone where you are going

If you’re going on a date with someone you’ve never met before, make sure to tell a friend or family member your plans. Let that person know where you’re planning on going, and roughly how long you think the date may last. Check in with them when you’ve met your date, and again when you’re home. Nowadays there are a number of tracking apps which allow you to check in at the touch of a button. There are also apps which will transmit your location to a loved one.

Always meet in a public location

Again, this might sound like obvious advice, but it can be easy to get caught up on the romance of a situation, particularly if someone suggests cooking for you, or watching a movie together. Until you have the measure of someone, meet up in busy, public places. Stations are a great spot to meet. Not only are they busy, but they allow you an easy escape if the person turns out to be not who he or she seemed online.

I hope you have found that useful, and wish you good luck in your quest to find someone new.

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Single Parent Dating

Dear Agony Aunt Nicola

I’ve been single for a while and have been on various dates but it seems quite a struggle trying to date with having kids. I don’t seem to always find the time to arrange a date with someone new when i’m so busy with the kids. When I think I have found the perfect person and plan to meet them I find myself either running around getting the chores done or stressed. This then leads to losing the excitement of a date and instead turns to worry. If you can give me some tips on where i’m going wrong – is it me or my lifestyle. Elizabeth

Hi Elizabeth

It’s very hard for single parents who have the care of their children and trying to go dating at the same time. There should be a balance and the best way to overcome this is to plan ahead. If you and your new date plan a time to meet ensure that everything is ready in advance so when the time approaches you have done all your chores and you are stress free. If you have childcare if the children are young ask for their assistance in either arriving early or dropping them off early which will give you good time to relax and unwind before you meet your date. Single parent dating can be difficult but there’s no reason why you can’t put yourself first every now and again and have some time for yourself to give yourself the best chance of finding a new partner. Life shouldn’t stop just because you have kids so take time out and have the best of both worlds.

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Sharing Cost 50/50 in a relationship

Dear Agony Aunt Nicola

I been seeing this guy for about 4 months now. When we usually go out he pays for dinner, movies, or anything else we do. I help to pay here and there. Mostly he is the one paying. The other day, he asked that we should share the cost 50/50 and that its getting a little out of hand. We do go out every week so I can understand it can be pricey. I told him we don’t need to go out everytime. I don’t mind staying home and cook and just watch tv. No biggy. I don’t know how to take this? Because none of the guys I have been with before have asked me to go 50/50.

Don’t guys usually pay for everything. However, I don’t know his financial situation. I don’t know how these things work, thanks Jodie

Hi Jodie

It’s a difficult one as he’s offered to pay initially and because of that you naturally expected him to pay each time you went out as he seemed okay with it. He more than likely doesn’t want to make it an issue either, perhaps offer to contribute half especially if what you are doing together is costly. If you sit down and discuss with him splitting the cost or like you say not going out as much if money is tight, there are plenty of things you can do as a couple that doesn’t cost a penny! Things like picnics if the weather is good, sports like a game of tennis, punting, swimming etc there are plenty of things you can do without breaking the bank. The best thing you can do is talk about it otherwise it will only fester in to a potential argument which is no good for any new relationship.

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Meet Up Quick, Honest!

If there were ten commandments of dating in 2015, the first one would have to be ‘thou shalt meet up quickly!’

As I’ve mentioned before, dating in the twenty-teens is a numbers game. With so many people dating online, it can feel as if you have infinite choices. And to some degree you do. It’s by no means a bad thing. Dating can be an exciting, exhilarating carousel ride, if you play the game correctly.

Like most people, my first contact with online dating was the film You’ve Got Mail and so when I first began online dating, I believed the key was to make a real connection with someone before meeting up. To look carefully for ‘The One’, and only once I thought I had found him, to then meet up. As a result, I chatted to guys for several weeks, trying to learn everything about them, before I committed to going on a date.

However in reality, it’s very difficult to get to know someone simply over emails and messages. It’s also particularly difficult to work out whether there will be any attraction in real life.

The problem with waiting to meet a date in person, is that in the build up to meeting, you begin to create a false impression about who you are texting or emailing. Without hearing the tone of their words, or seeing their face as they say things, you begin to attach unfounded attraction and expectation to the person. An attraction and expectation which may prove difficult to live up to in person.

In reality, ten people could say the exact same thing to us, but, when those same words are said by someone who you are attracted to, they produce a very different response to when anyone else says them. The problem with meeting someone online, and sharing lengthy correspondence before meeting up, is that you assume that you are going to fancy one another, simply from photos and brief online descriptions. You fill in the gaps with assumptions of attraction, and will view the things they say and do more favorably because you’re excited and invested. And at the same time, that person is doing a similar thing.

Obviously sometimes the person you’ve been getting to know will be just as attractive and as good a match in person as they were online. However more often, if you chat for too long, you either create a false impression which your match won’t be able to live up to, or one of you gets bored of simply feling like pen pals. Even if there is an attraction in real life, you need to experience it early on, in order to continue investing time in the ‘relationship’. After all, we all know how many other options there are online.

The easy solution is to meet up quickly. Once you’ve established you like each others’ profiles, and that you can communicate easily enough online, try to take things offline at the quickest opportunity. Don’t mistake haste for naivete. You should still pay close attention to your personal safety, and still apply thought to the date. Make it fun, and do something you want to do any way, so that even if the person doesn’t turn out to be as good a match as you first thought, you still have fun.

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