Dear Agony Aunt Nicola
I am really depressed over my boyfriend’s past. We’re in our early twenties and both virgins – but I was not his first kiss. He had a silly relationship at school when he was 16 and I can’t seem to get over it. I can’t accept he shared that moment with another girl. I feel less special, that she is better than me and all the kisses we have can never be as good as his first kiss with her. I know this is irrational but I can’t help it. I think of it all the time and it’s ruining our relationship as well as taking over my life. Cassie
He kissed someone else, but he’s kissing you now. You really need to concentrate on your relationship for the present and future things to look forward to. An inexperienced first kiss with someone that he doesn’t even see anymore means nothing compared to the months/years you have created together now.
You also mentioned that you are both virgins, forget about the kiss because you are going to potentially share a very special intimate moment when are you both ready to have sex. That is the most special thing you can share with your boyfriend.
Don’t spend time dwelling on the past as you could ruin your future with him. It can’t be changed and you shouldn’t destroy the future with things in the past. If you feel there may be deeper issues that could be the result of you feeling like this, you may want to explore them.