I’ve been dating a married man

Dear Nicola,I’m 45 and have been seeing a guy for a nearly a year only to find out he’s married. He didn’t tell me I found out after some investigating as he’s a very private person which made me suspicious. I would like to say I am his official girlfriend, he’s met my friends and even accompanied me to family gatherings. I went online to see if I could find anything related to him and found an article with a photo of him outside a house which stated he shared with his wife. I couldn’t believe it with my own eyes, I was furious and felt stupid and cheated. I straight away emailed him the link to the article with his wife and the response I had been given was ‘Oh I was going to tell you I’ve been separated and my wife and I are thinking about getting back together’. I had trusted this man and he was a big part of my life, how can I overcome this? Thanks Catherine

Hi Catherine,

This man was very clever at keeping a lie for so long and living another life, it’s understandable you would be livid and shocked with many other emotions involved. The best way to overcome this is to make sure you tell yourself this was not your fault, this was beyond your control and there was nothing you could do. It’s an experience you will deal with but will learn from even though you didn’t see it coming. As the saying goes ‘what goes around, comes around’ as long as you do your best and always be honest you can’t do any better than that. You will get over it as time is a good healer but when you want to start dating or go into a new relationship take it with caution until you are 100%. The reason you found out was because your instinct told you something wasn’t right which led you to suspicion. Continue to trust your instincts then you can’t go wrong.

Author Bio


I am a life coach and a trained relationship counsellor. I have a number of years experience and I enjoy nothing more then helping those in need. I like to think I am able to help those in the trickiest of situations.
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