Dear Nicola, I’ve been married for almost ten years and feel my wife is slowly drifting away from me. Even worse than that I feel she is drifting into the hands of another woman.
She’s always been a very sociable woman and loves arranging group gatherings but lately I see that she is being overly friendly with a close female friend. Others have seen them holding hands and I have been told that when they say goodbye to one another they share a lingering kiss. This makes me feel very awkward and uncomfortable, and I need to find out if there is anything going on behind my back. I don’t want to lose her but I can’t live a lie playing the role of a happy couple, when she is showing her love to another woman. We are supposed to be making plans for the future but I can’t do that is she is a lesbian. Help me, Jason.
Without a doubt, the best way to approach this is to sit down and talk to your wife. Tell her what your concerns are and how her obvious advances with her female friend is making you feel very uncomfortable and that others are noticing too. I suggest not asking her if she is a lesbian directly as this could potentially annoy her and put her on the defence. She is your wife and unless you tell her exactly how concerned you are, this situation will continue which could eventually make you feel worse. If she has something to tell you regarding her sexuality, and if she is attracted to women then she needs to let you know. You are her husband and she needs to take her vows to you seriously and respect your wishes. I hope you two can work it out.