Dear Agony Aunt Nicola
Over the last year my boyfriend and I have been saving for an exotic holiday, booked for this summer. Recently we’ve not been getting on and since split up. Unfortunately we can’t get a refund on our holiday so have no choice for both of us to still go together. I am unsure if I can cope with going on holiday with him knowing we’ve not been getting on. It could also be confusing if we feel like we are a couple again but upon return go our separate ways? Charlotte
It’s understanding why neither of you would want to miss out on a holiday that you have spent money on. Given you know each other well it may be you can enjoy this break even if you are not involved romantically.
Ask yourself how much of the holiday would be dependent on you being together, how will you manage this given you say you haven’t been getting on?
Are you able to put your differences aside while you are away, or do you think it’s likely being away could make things more tense?
It’s best to take these scenarios on board and it may be a good to think about how you would deal with them in advance.
If you had a bad fall out on the trip how would you deal with it? if you are both miserable you’re far away from home, if one of you decided to have a holiday fling? or if you slipped back into couple mode or go ill.
Think this through by yourself and also discuss this with your ex together. figure out ways to avoid bad situations that can arise, the last thing you want to feel is distressed on holiday.