As a seasoned online dater there are certain things I have been noticing more and more lately. There has been an increase in new users on all the dating sites who just don’t quite understand how it works. The less taboo online dating becomes, the more they come in droves. These people are unaware of the use any sort of etiquette. As well, they don’t know what and what not to put in their profiles.
Tips to make someone’s first trip into the sea of online dating easier for all of us:
Pictures! Please have recent pictures from at least the 6 months. We don’t care if it’s a selfie (picture shot with your phone in a mirror) as long as you don’t have your sunglasses on. Also, please do not include pictures of your children, pets, et al.
Your profile usually only gets read if the person likes your pictures. I hate to break it to you, but it’s a meat market out there. The profile is where you really sell yourself. It’s always great to include hobbies, music tastes and anything else you feel you may have to repeat yourself if people keep asking. Please do not start your profile with “I hate writing about myself,” or mention ANYTHING about any exes. The past is the past, leave it there.
On to the messages. You looked at the pictures. You liked. You read the profile. You liked that too and thought you might have something in common with this person. What do too many people do in their first message? They send, “Hi, “ or “Hello” and that’s IT. One word messages don’t leave much to respond to as well shows a lack of effort. Mentioning something in their profile is a perfect way to start. Please do not write your entire life story in a first message either. It’s one of those things where you have to give to get and let the online conversation happen.
When it comes to face to face meetings it’s best to meet in a public place. This does not mean you have to stay there. If the comfort level is there, go for a walk, a drive, anything that has you moving around where if the conversation stalls you can look up and mention something that you’re seeing. It could be some odd person jogging past or beautiful scenery. Anything to keep the conversation going and getting to know the person you’re on a date with.
This useful post was written by Holly Martin who maintains the blog singlewomansblog.com where she writes about her adventures and misadventures of online dating. Don’t get discouraged, there are good people out there, we just have to find that right connection.