Dear Agony Aunt Nicola
My marriage broke up with my husband cheating on me, this was a while ago but I still feel bitter about it as I caught him. I was devasted and confided in my friends and family who were supportive and told me I was much better than her. They told me karma would pay him back and he will regret leaving me. A week ago I went to a party and bumped into him, we spoke and it turns out he married the woman he cheated on me with and they have three beautiful kids. His new wife had landed a dream job and the family are moving abroad. I felt very strange about it as I was shocked his life has turned around for the best without me. Was it completely wrong what I was told by my friends and family? Phoebe
It’s not that you were given the wrong advice I can see why your friends and family were saying this to make you feel better and get you through a difficult time. Break-ups bring a lot of grief and trauma to deal with, they did have your best interest at heart and thought by telling you that it was the right thing to do and would help you the most to hear. At the time you probably couldn’t believe life without him so they wanted to give you some hope that he may eventually want to come back to you. They didn’t want you to feel broken or unattractive so they said you were much better than her and he was mad to leave you. They more than likely believed everything they were telling you was true as when relationships have ended there’s still a chance of rekindling after some time out. Those who are reading this will be anxious that they too will be given wrong messages but it’s worth remembering that all relationships ends in various ways with different outcomes. It’s always best not to dwell on the past and to move on with the new positive things in your life.