Dear Agony Aunt Nicola
I am really depressed over my girlfriend’s past. We’re in our early twenties and both virgins – but I was not her first kiss. She had a silly relationship at school when she was 16 and I can’t seem to get over it. I can’t accept she shared that with another guy. I feel less special, that he is better than me and all the kisses we have can never be as good as her first kiss with him. I know this is irrational but I can’t help it. I think of it all the time and it’s ruining our relationship as well as taking over my life. Colin
She kissed someone else, but she’s kissing you now. You really need to concentrate on your relationship for the present and future things to look forward to. Think about what works for your relationship and what connected you together initially. The best way is to communicate with each other and be positive, find out the root cause of your fixation on her past over this kiss. There are wider issues that could be the result of you feeling like this that you may want to explore.