Can I date my ex-boyfriend’s best friend?

Dear Agony Aunt Nicola

It’s been nearly 5 years since my relationship with my ex boyfriend and we still talk now and then so there’s no bad feelings even if I did finish with him. I would like to think he’s over me as i’ve not heard any different, the problem for me is i’ve been spending time with his best mate which we’ve kept quiet. I am developing strong feelings for his best mate which is reciprocated but he doesn’t feel ready to tell my ex as he’s worried he’s going to lose him or fall out etc. I really want to have our relationship out in the open and be proud to say he’s my new boyfriend but I can’t and it’s really getting to me. What can I do? Stephanie

Hi Stephanie

It’s a very difficult situation to be in and not an easy choice for your new boyfriend who also has to consider his best friend’s feelings too. Unfortunately it’s a waiting game where you have to respect your new partners wishes and let him decide for when the time is right to become public with your relationship. Even though your ex is of no present link to your life he still is a big part of your new man. If after a long time such as many months down the line nothing has changed where you are keeping your romance still secret then it doesn’t bode well for your relationship. For the time being stay cool and calm, you never know it may be totally fine and your ex is okay with the situation.

Author Bio


I am a life coach and a trained relationship counsellor. I have a number of years experience and I enjoy nothing more then helping those in need. I like to think I am able to help those in the trickiest of situations.
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