Should I let him see his kids

Dear Nicola

I’m a single mum of two with no contact with my kids Dad for nearly 10 years. He’s never supported me financially or shared responsibility for them and now out of the blue he wants contact. I have very ill feelings towards their dad and would love for him to disappear as I feel he is unworthy of contact. I don’t want my kids to feel upset if he is unreliable which would cause them great distress now they are older and aware of the situation. Do I let him see his kids or do I live with the guilt of them not getting to know their Dad. Cheryl

Hi Cheryl

I can understand your predicament of not wanting to allow your children to have contact with a man who has never shown responsibility. Assess the situation, does their Dad seem sincere wanting to have a relationship with his kids again, does he regret the past and want to make up for it, will he start financially paying for them? These are examples of what you need to think about, also how do the children feel about wanting to see him and if they are happy about this. Arrange to meet to discuss all these factors with your ex and tell him your reservations but don’t cut him off until he gives you cause for concern. As the sole parent you have been for years he also has needs to respect your wishes in arrangements of when and how the contact will be made. The last thing you want is a guilty conscience stopping your children from seeing him or even more so your children resenting you. Remember they’re older and will make their own opinions as long as you are there for them when they need you. Good luck and I hope it goes well for you all.

Author Bio


I am a life coach and a trained relationship counsellor. I have a number of years experience and I enjoy nothing more then helping those in need. I like to think I am able to help those in the trickiest of situations.
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