Help – I’m gay and fancy a straight guy

Dear Nicola, I am gay and been in a gay relationship for 6 years but have recently started having feelings for my straight friend. I have been finding it difficult to hold my feelings back for him and feel the need to tell him although if I do this I am worried it will ruin our friendship. When there is chemistry it feels right, when I see him I get butterflies and i’m sure he could feel the same although I can’t know 100%. My friend is straight and single, if he is gay i want to help him be open about it as I know what it feels like to keep it hidden from the world. We are so great together and it would be my dream to be in a relationship with him. What should I do? Thanks Simon.

Hi Simon, well firstly you need to be sure how he feels about you before you have the talk on his sexuality. You can talk about your current relationship not going so well which might lead him to discussing about his potential feelings for you. If he chooses to ignore this and doesn’t mention a word then it’s likely he does not want to get involved at this point or at all. You can’t push your ‘what if’ dream of being in a relationship with your friend as it could damage your friendship if you get the signs wrong. Take it easy and go with the flow, if it’s meant to be it will be. Unless your friend comes out of the closet and confides in you there’s nothing you can do and the last thing you want to do is lose him as a friend.

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I am a life coach and a trained relationship counsellor. I have a number of years experience and I enjoy nothing more then helping those in need. I like to think I am able to help those in the trickiest of situations.
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