Dear Agony Aunt Nicola
I had been in a relationship for a handful of years and got engaged. The lead up to the wedding seemed fine until a few weeks beforehand when I found out my fiance had been having an affair with a good friend of mine. Yes it was my worst nightmare and a couple of years down the line I’m still not over it. I do want to start looking to the future and meeting someone special but I am finding it difficult to know if I will ever trust anyone again. Vanessa
You have taken a knock in confidence and to trust someone again when wanting to start a new relationship will be undoubtedly difficult for you. I have a lot of emails that come in asking for advice and I must admit this is within the top 10 worst situations to be in. Remember though no matter how bad it can be there is always light at the end of the tunnel. It helps to talk about things may I suggest if not a close friend or family member that you may need some form of counselling to deal with your trust issues. Talking about a problem if it is affecting your life can do you a lot of good, to get things off your chest and put things into perspective that all men are not like your ex. Learning to cope with upset and trying new techniques will help you get over this. Time is a good healer too so with this combined even though you won’t forget you will move on successfully.